On the other hand...

There ARE downsides to having a forever family, I suppose. Brianna is threatening to put a bow on my collar. But that's not all! She's talking about dressing me up as a reindeer! Now, I didn't know what that was, but I googled it and I know I do NOT want to be dressed up as one!!!

On the other hand, they feed me and give me treats and I have comfy pillows and a warm, cozy box, and a line that I can stay out on and tromp through the flowerbeds and bark at things on. And they take me to the dog park and give me bacon cheese strips sometimes. And they take me for walks and play games with me. And they won't let me on the furniture, and they do yell at me a lot to get out of the garbage, but I guess the good things outweigh the bad parts.

But really. Seriously? A reindeer?! What is she THINKING?! I'm a DOG for heaven's sakes!!!

Whose am I?

Today Brianna mauled me (I've been meaning to write about that, hang on just a sec.... Ok.)

When Brianna mauls me, she picks me up around my chest and holds me up on my hind legs (just like I was jumping on someone, I don't get this! It's not ok for me to jump on her but it's ok for her to pick me up??) and hugs me and lets me lick her face. She also coos about what a perfect puppy I am and how wonderful and furry my face is. (Or something like that.)

Anyways, so today she was mauling me. (That's what Mom calls it.) And she was going "who's my puppeh, who's my puppeehhh??" and Mom said "I wonder if she knows whose dog she is." And Brianna said "your name is on the paperwork". and Mom said "but you wanted her!" and I said "but you picked her out!" (they have this argument all the time, or at least something to that effect.) Anyway, I'm getting off track. Mom wondered if I knew whose dog I am.

I do! I do know!!! I do, I do, I do!!! I'm the REDHEADS' DOG!!!!!!!

Good grief, I miss those redheads. Both of them. I haven't seen them in months. Not Rachel since August (and I especially like her because she smells like CATS!) and not Eeeeelaina since... October? IDK. It's just been too long and I miss the redheads. Leah came over a couple days ago and spent the night, though! I secretly really love Leah and Eeeeeelaina and Emerleh because they all smell like other dogs!!! (I wonder what happened to Sammy... I haven't heard from him in weeks! Last I knew, he couldn't get his person's tablet to work, so he couldn't post... I really miss him.) =( I haven't seen Sarah in forever, but I love her even more, because she smells like cats! (So does the pillow I sleep on. It smells like Sarah and cats.)

I do miss them. But I love my people. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside to think that I have a forever family. I have a home and people who love me. Mom even promised that she wouldn't ever take me back to the pound! And I'm so excited to spend my first Christmas with my forever family! <3

A thingy!

Mom and Brianna brought me home a thingy! I don't know what it is, but it looks furry and it makes a jingly noise and I KNOW it's mine because it looks a little like my rabbit but not really anything like it. In any case, they won't let me play with it, and I don't know why, because it's obviously mine!

Mom says it's something called a "stocking". But I don't know what that means? She says it will be filled with goodies and treats, but why won't she just give it to me?? It looks fun! I would post a picture, but Mom hid it somewhere in her bedroom, and I'm not allowed in there. =(

I think it has something to do with this Christmas thing. I've heard tell of something else unusual pertaining to this alleged holiday. (I have a great vocabulary for a puppy, don't I?) It's called Santa Claws and I don't get it. He supposedly gives toys and treats to good children and puppies on this day called Christmas. My people keep saying how silly it is that people believe in him because he isn't real. But if he isn't real then why do people talk about him?

On the other hand, he CAN'T be real. After all, why is he known for his claws? That doesn't seem very nice. They could have named him after his ears or tail or nose or even his paws, but his claws? How does that make sense? So I don't believe in him, whoever he may be.

Ahh yes, my rabbit.

It met a sad and tragic end -- my people say by me, but I say by them! It was in perfectly good shape (abet the head, which was nowhere to be found). And so my people had the cruelty to throw it out! This was all that remained.

A tragic picture, isn't it? The lack of wholeness in this picture echos the lack of wholeness in my heart.

My Christmas List!

Here is my Christmas list! It's kind of long... I am a very deprived puppy. And hey, Brianna put a diamond ring (or something like that) on her list, so why can't I put whatever I want on my list?

• Pink tennis balls! Green gets really boring.
• A big fluffy dog bed, like a really big one that's really fluffy. Not that I need another one...
• A RABBIT!!!
• A SQUIRREL!!!
• A DEER!!!
• A CAT!!!
• A BIRD!!!!!
• THE CHANCE TO RUN THROUGH THE WOOD FOREVER!!!!!!
• A buddy. Like, a four-legged furry one that barks and lives with me.
• A bright pink bandanna to match my bright pink collar. (well, Brianna wants to get me one of those, anyway.)
• FOOD. ALL THE FOOD. PEOPLE FOOD.
• Peanutbutter.
• Bacon cheese strips!!!
• A new stuffed rabbit. Mine met a disturbing end. I shall write about that later....
• A SQUEEEEEKY THING!!!!
• SQUEEKY TENNIS BALLS
• A redhead. To live with me. I miss them. =(
• A new leash! A pretty leash! A stylish leash!
• A sweater. (actually, I don't want one of those. My people are just threatening to buy me one for really cold days.)
• Rope toys! Preferably the preferable ones!
• License to jump on people.
• To be allowed to go through the garbage.
• Unlimited time at the dog park.
• Rawhide.
• To bark at things whenever I want. (My people are complaining I'm becoming too "barky". Stupid idea, barking is fun! Maybe I just get tired of not saying anything!)
• Those chewy bone thingies Mom bought me once. But only once. And they were really delicious.
• No more baths. Ever.
• Love. Lots and lots of love. <3

That's all I can think of right now! If I remember anything else, I shall add it. Now I'm off to go bark at nothing in particular.

Guard the house?

My people have this odd thing they say when they put me in my crate and leave me. They say: "guard the house, Carly." And then when they leave me in my crate in the car for awhile while they do something, they say "guard the car, Carly."

What does this mean? What is guarding something? Maybe I should Google it. Ok, here we go:

"noun: guard; plural noun: guards
1. watch over in order to protect or control.

2.

 a person who keeps watch, esp. a soldier or other person formally assigned to protect a person or to control access to a place."

Oooh, I get it! kind of...not really...I guess maybe...I'm not sure, I'm just a dog! When I adopted my people, they never told me I'd have to do anything! Especially to watch and protect something! On the other hand, I'm very good at watching things... I watch birds and rabbits and things out the window all day long......

But I guess they mean something else, because you know what Brianna said the other day? Somebody came to the door, and I just sat there wagging my tail and grinning and she said:

"You know, you could be a fierce watchdog and actually bark when someone comes to the door!"

Besides, everyone is my friend! Why would I bark at them for no reason other than the fact they were pulling into the driveway and coming up the steps?? It doesn't make sense!

I don't get it? Why would I need to bark at anybody?? Rabbits and birds and squirrels and deer (ooh, I get excited just thinking about it!!) and other dogs, too, but people?! I love everybody, the only person I bark at is Mom because I know she always puts me out on my line when I bark at her!

As I was saying earlier

This Christmas thing, right? Well it must be REALLY special because it even has special music! It's really nice music, too. With Brass sections! (I don't know exactly what that means, but they're Brianna's like, favorite thing. I wasn't supposed to tell, actually. Nobody but Mom knows that she has this deep dark secret about brass sections. She LOVES them. All the songs she plays over and over have brass sections!)

So Brianna has been playing all this really special music, but she doesn't have too much of it, so it's getting annoying. Especially the brass sections. I'm not sure what I think of brass sections yet. What is "brass" anyway? Is it like grass?? Can I eat it??

She laughed at me the other day for barking at her radio. I don't know why she was laughing, there were people talking coming out of it (I don't get how that works?) and then her radio started barking! I was sleeping on her rug and just sat up and yapped at it. She was laughing hysterically. I don't see why! There was obviously a dog stuck inside her radio that I needed to go play with. I was very confused. She said "it's just an ad," but I don't know what that means, and she wouldn't let me go play with the dog in the radio! Can someone tell her that she wasn't being very nice? She wouldn't listen to me!

My people, you see, are all under the delusion that they are smarter than me. I hope they don't mind when I say that THEY ARE NOT.

Christmas?

I keep hearing all this talk of something called "Christmas". What is this? It sounds like it's special. It also sounds like people by each other things. Grandma is already going shopping for me, I heard!

My people are all making something called a "Christmas List". This is why I think this Christmas thing must be about giving people things, because my people are putting EVERYTHING they want at all ever in the world on these lists!

Hey! Maybe I need to make a Christmas list, too! There are a lot of things I want... Like a real, a real, a REAL LIVE RABBIT TO CHASE UP AND DOWN THE YARD AND THROUGH THE WOODS!!!!!!! I really want one of those! They even sell them at the pet shop! I couldn't read the sign but I think it was near the dog toys!!

But then there would be the problem of GIVING gifts. What do my people really want? I mean, really, really want? I'm thinking another dog, (I could easily convince one of my buddies at the dog park to come home with me!) but when Brianna suggested it, Mom got kinda upset. I don't have any money or anything, and they aren't too happy with me when I drop tennis balls in their laps. I don't know why... Seems like a great gift to me!