Guess what?

Guess what I did today!! I went to the dog park! I ran and chased the ball and played with all my friends and made some new ones. They got a new water spout there and now there's actually stuff to drink, it's amazing.

And then we got home and THERE WAS A CAT IN THE YARD. THERE WAS THIS CAT IN THE YARD and Brianna opened up the car and I saw the cat and I barked and barked and barked and then Mom opened the door and grabbed my leash but I pulled the leash out of her hands and ran after the cat and they yelled and yelled and i lost track of the cat but I kept running around in circles in the yard anyway because it was fun! And then Brianna had a squeaky toy and called and squeaked the squeaky toy and I guess I fell for it (or maybe I'm just a good dog, but I guess we'll never know) so I ran over and she grabbed my leash and then gave me the squeaky toy.

My people had chicken for dinner.... Mmmm, chicken.... Dad put some chicken juice on my food and it was tasty but I wanted more chicken. I always want more chicken. So I tried to eat chicken bones out of the garbage. It might have gone better if Mom hadn't been standing right next to me. She bopped my nose and I slunk off, feeling rather sheepish. I suppose I should have been more sneaky. But I just wanted that chicken!

The mud pit -- er, dog park.

Brianna went to church and didn't come back! Then tonight she brought Emerleh in, so I suppose she must have spent the day with her, but that upset me, because that means she was cheating on me because she smelled like Sable, Brian's dog. and CATS. SHE SMELLED LIKE CATS!!!! SHE SMELLED. LIKE CATS. OH MY GOODNESS, BRIANNA SMELLED LIKE CATS!!!!! I practically had a heart attack. I love cats. I mean, I LOVE CATS. Don't even get me started. I ADORE cats.

So Brianna was gone all day, but it was ok, because Mom and Dad took me to the dog park. It was so much fun!! I played in the mud puddles! and then they wouldn't let me into the house.... So I had to stay out on my line and get hosed off before they'd let me in.

  

And then I got a bath. A vile, vile, bath. Dad had to shampoo me three times. It was horrid. Not just that, but I got a flea treatment after that, too!! Can you believe these people?! What is wrong with them?! Torturing a poor, innocent doggy like me like this. Doesn't that face just melt your heart?! You know it does........

Church.

What is Church? My people leave me in my box every week the morning after Saturday to go to church. Now, I know church is about God. I love God! I like to sit on my line and look at the trees and the birds and the squirrels and the sky and bark to thank God for it, because it's just the best and He's the best! He made me furry so I'd stay warm in the winter, and he invented evaporational cooling so I'd stay cool in the summer. (That's just a peopley way of explaining why I like hanging my tongue out when I'm hot.) He made the birds and squirrels and deer and even cats (though sometimes I wonder why He thought this world needed cats. Eeeelaina would say I'm being racist, but who needs cats?!) and He made all the dirt for me to dig in and the water to play in and He even made my people who they are! Oh, and He made the redheads and people friends who THEY are, too! Why shouldn't I love Him and be thankful? He's the best! He gave me everything I need and more. He loves me even more than I love Him, and that's crazy! I mean, He doesn't give me tummy rubs or anything, but I know He loves me, and that's funny, because usually I need people to give me tummy rubs to make sure they love me.

So if I love God, and if God loves me, why don't they let me come to church? That's the place you go when you love God, right? So why can't I go?! It's frustrating! All I know about church is that it smells like food and people and floors and metal (I smelled Brianna's slippers, which are furry and look like small animals on her feet and she wears them to Church.) And it's upsetting me that I can't go, too!

It's not fair, I love God as much as all those people who go to church! So why can't I go?! Besides, I want to do everything my people do. It saddens me that they won't bring me with them.

Whose am I?

Today Brianna mauled me (I've been meaning to write about that, hang on just a sec.... Ok.)

When Brianna mauls me, she picks me up around my chest and holds me up on my hind legs (just like I was jumping on someone, I don't get this! It's not ok for me to jump on her but it's ok for her to pick me up??) and hugs me and lets me lick her face. She also coos about what a perfect puppy I am and how wonderful and furry my face is. (Or something like that.)

Anyways, so today she was mauling me. (That's what Mom calls it.) And she was going "who's my puppeh, who's my puppeehhh??" and Mom said "I wonder if she knows whose dog she is." And Brianna said "your name is on the paperwork". and Mom said "but you wanted her!" and I said "but you picked her out!" (they have this argument all the time, or at least something to that effect.) Anyway, I'm getting off track. Mom wondered if I knew whose dog I am.

I do! I do know!!! I do, I do, I do!!! I'm the REDHEADS' DOG!!!!!!!

Good grief, I miss those redheads. Both of them. I haven't seen them in months. Not Rachel since August (and I especially like her because she smells like CATS!) and not Eeeeelaina since... October? IDK. It's just been too long and I miss the redheads. Leah came over a couple days ago and spent the night, though! I secretly really love Leah and Eeeeeelaina and Emerleh because they all smell like other dogs!!! (I wonder what happened to Sammy... I haven't heard from him in weeks! Last I knew, he couldn't get his person's tablet to work, so he couldn't post... I really miss him.) =( I haven't seen Sarah in forever, but I love her even more, because she smells like cats! (So does the pillow I sleep on. It smells like Sarah and cats.)

I do miss them. But I love my people. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside to think that I have a forever family. I have a home and people who love me. Mom even promised that she wouldn't ever take me back to the pound! And I'm so excited to spend my first Christmas with my forever family! <3

My Christmas List!

Here is my Christmas list! It's kind of long... I am a very deprived puppy. And hey, Brianna put a diamond ring (or something like that) on her list, so why can't I put whatever I want on my list?

• Pink tennis balls! Green gets really boring.
• A big fluffy dog bed, like a really big one that's really fluffy. Not that I need another one...
• A RABBIT!!!
• A SQUIRREL!!!
• A DEER!!!
• A CAT!!!
• A BIRD!!!!!
• THE CHANCE TO RUN THROUGH THE WOOD FOREVER!!!!!!
• A buddy. Like, a four-legged furry one that barks and lives with me.
• A bright pink bandanna to match my bright pink collar. (well, Brianna wants to get me one of those, anyway.)
• FOOD. ALL THE FOOD. PEOPLE FOOD.
• Peanutbutter.
• Bacon cheese strips!!!
• A new stuffed rabbit. Mine met a disturbing end. I shall write about that later....
• A SQUEEEEEKY THING!!!!
• SQUEEKY TENNIS BALLS
• A redhead. To live with me. I miss them. =(
• A new leash! A pretty leash! A stylish leash!
• A sweater. (actually, I don't want one of those. My people are just threatening to buy me one for really cold days.)
• Rope toys! Preferably the preferable ones!
• License to jump on people.
• To be allowed to go through the garbage.
• Unlimited time at the dog park.
• Rawhide.
• To bark at things whenever I want. (My people are complaining I'm becoming too "barky". Stupid idea, barking is fun! Maybe I just get tired of not saying anything!)
• Those chewy bone thingies Mom bought me once. But only once. And they were really delicious.
• No more baths. Ever.
• Love. Lots and lots of love. <3

That's all I can think of right now! If I remember anything else, I shall add it. Now I'm off to go bark at nothing in particular.

I'M ALL ALONE!

A few days ago, most of my family left! They haven't come back either! Layna was the only one who stayed with me... But yesterday morning she left too! I knew something was afoot the moment she got up, (she hardly every wakes up in the MORNING) and then she packed her yellow backpack up, I wasn't too worried, in fact, i was blissfully happy for a little while. See Layna some times puts stuff in that backpack, and then I believe she goes into the woods by our house (that I'm not allowed to in) and comes back with these mini pears in her pack that she give to the other kids and she smells so interesting when she gets back, like the forest and cats (CATS!) and other animals and dirt... ahhhhhh dirt...
But I'm starting to loose the basic point. SHE LEFT AND SHE HASN'T COME ALL NIGHT AND I'M VERY CONCERNED SHE MAY BE SEEING OTHER DOGS ON THE SIDE! Like the day BEFORE yesterday when she came home smelling like a black lab puppy. What's happening? Is she getting tired of me? Did she abandon me? The lady who lives on the other side of the house has been letting me and the other dog out, and she gives us a pat on the head now and again... BUT I WANT LAYNA AND THE FAMILY TO COME HOME! I even miss Jesse grabbing my face and telling me "Your so caaaayyyyuuuuttteeee DOG-ALERRR!" If they all just come home I wont be angry!




If you see a red headed girl in black sneekers that smell like a black lab puppy, who answers to Layna and has an inexplicable attraction to acrylic paints (if you don't now what those are, they smell TERRIBLE!) and notebooks, and pens, and sketch books, and books, and tools, and Zelda, and quotes starwars... THEN PLEASE JUMP HER AND PUT A LEASH ON HER AND CONTACT ME IMMEDIATELY!

There are a lot of things to think about when you're a dog.

Like why do birds fly? How does that work? Why can't I fly? It's not really very fair, is it? Why can't I sit on chairs and beds like people? Why can't I run like a rabbit? Why do I have a tail? Why do rabbits have tails?? Why don't people have tails?

Why are people like they are? Why are dogs like they are? Why aren't people like dogs and dogs like people? What makes one the other and other the one? Why am I not a person? Why is Brianna not a dog? Why do people have strange ideas? Why do Brianna's pants end up smelling like other dogs?

Why am I the only white dog at the dog park? Why am I the only one with a heart tag? Why am I not fluffy like other dogs? Why do neither Captain or Deuce really like me? Why can't I get a soulmate? Am I really lovable? Or am I just "overbearing"?

Why are redheads weird? Why is Eeeeeeelaina the weirdest? Why are she and Emerleh fun? Why does Sarah never seem excited to see me? Aren't I just the greatest dog in the world? And WHY does Sarah ALWAYS smell like cats?? That really bugs me!!! I want the cat she always smells like!!! I want to roll it in bacon and cheese and give it to Sammy!!!

RUNNNNIIINNNNGGGGGG!

TODAY I GOT OUT TWICE AND CHASED CATS AND CHICKENS AND RAN EVERYWHERE THEY NEVER LET ME GO!

On the down side... I hurt my paw, and Layna put this gunky goo on it, and it's really smelly.

BUT I WAS FREE FOR A LONG TIME! I first got out in the morning when I carefully shoved my head through the brown door while they were opening the red one, and struggle as hard and as fast as I could, and BAM I was home free! Johnny didn't like me running around, he was very mad and he yelled at me, but Layna didn't like him yelling I guess, so she told him to stop, and was very upset. I thought about going over to see what all the commotion was about, but then I saw the neighbor's cat stalking a squirrel! A CAT AND A SQUIRREL? THAT WAS THE BEST THING TO HAPPEN TO ME EVER! WHAT A ONCE IN A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY! I ran after them and ran all over the place. but then I saw how upset everyone was... I ran over to check on them and Layna tried to TACKLE me! So I ran around more and Layna kept trying to jump me! eventually Johnny grabbed me. When they brought me inside, Layna brushed me from head to toe. I kinda like being brushed, when she only brushes my tummy, but she never does. I REALLY hate when she brushes my tail. It's MY tail, and it is my personal opinion is that I should make all decisions surrounding it. but she insisted upon brushing it out.

The night looked rather dull at first, and I doubted anything interesting would occur. but joy of joys! As mom was about to feed the cats (CATS!) she forgot to shut the brown door! I ran for freedom. Images of Paul Revere and his gallant horse flashing through my mind! I ran into the bushes next to the old barn, chasing an orange cat. I heard a car engine, I ran to the car. mom was trying to shine the light in my direction so they could see me. then I ran back to the bushes, but OH! I got caught in an old fence! Mom tried to grab me, but I got away, then I saw a light, and without really looking to see what it was, I ran to, but I found myself in the backroom! And before I fully knew what was going on, Layna shut the red door and I was trapped!
they let me in the living room, and mom and Layna came in. They both announced I was filthy.
Layna brought me upstairs and tried to make me get into the bathtub.
I refused. she couldn't make me. I  liked being dirty and smelling like the outside! I wouldn't have believed it, I weigh almost as much as she does, but Layna LIFTED ME UP and set me in the tub. I jumped out. She put me back in.
In the end I stayed in the tub and let her wash me.
But I had run teasing her while she tried to dry me off with a towel. I ran downstairs the moment she opened the bathroom door. I got an incredible case of the zoomy's! Layna laid down on the couch and watched TV. eventually I got tired and laid down on the rug in front of the TV.
The burs in my fur were starting to bother me.
Once I was dry Layna brushed me again. I wanted to sleep. But when she was finished most of the burs were gone, and I felt much better. Then she kissed the top of my head and hugged me. I don't really like hugs that much, and this wasn't much different. but she held me very close and told me never to do that to her again, and that she didn't know how she could make it through being a stupid teenager without her Sammy. I'm not sure what she meant.

Then she went to go feed the cats, because mom hadn't when I got out. And she accidentally didn't shut the brown door right! I started to run out the red one, when she caught me and pulled me back inside. "No more of that buster!" she said. Then she hugged and kissed me again and went up to stairs to sleep. She always blows me a kiss on her way up the stairs and says she loves me. I curled up on the rug, and watched her walk up.