BEST. WEEKEND. EVER.

THIS WAS THE BEST. WEEKEND. EVER. OH MY GOODNESS YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED?!?!?! BRIANNA HAD A PARTY.

I love parties! I love parties so much! She had Sarah and Leah and Emerleh and Eeeeeelaina over and they didn't play with me much but they took me on a WALK. And you know why the walk was exciting? It was NIGHT. You know what else? Rory was here! I just love everyone.

You know what else? People don't think I know what's going on, but ohhh.... When you have five teenage girls hanging around, you know what happens? They talk. In fact, nothing short of an explosion can get them to shut up. And even then that doesn't work. They talk and talk and talk and since I'm a dog, I don't talk. And you know what that means? That means I listen.

Oh, but I listen. I listen to all their secrets. I listen when I'm in bed and they sit in the kitchen keeping me up. I listen when I'm out on my line and they won't shut up and you can hear them out the window. I listen when they walk me and talk and talk and talk while half of them run backwards. That's how much girls talk. They talk so much that once everyone's gone home Brianna calls Eeeeeelaina up and the two of them talk for two more hours about everything everyone has already talked about. Sometimes it gets tiring, honestly.

The most common thing they talk about is boys. Boys! Of all the things to talk about, they talk about boys?! What is wrong with that?! They could throw a tennis ball around or chase rabbits or even chew on things but they talk about BOYS?! What do boys even matter? They're just like girls only smellier and they eat less and talk less. (Girls eat so much food, there's always food hanging about and they never give me any of it.) Boys talk much less. I don't even really know any teenage boys. But they're sure not worth talking about for more than a few minutes.

But I suppose maybe.... Never mind, just thinking about Sammy and Judah, sorry. It's so conflicting, this whole boy thing.

Three things about spring.

My people are upset with me. But what on earth is there for my people to complain about? I am literally the perfect dog, and they'll be the first to admit it. And you know, spring is the best time ever, besides summer, which is just like spring only much longer. And you know what happens in spring.

Well, three important things happen in the spring. I shall list them out and tell you why each one matters.

1. Mud. And in this case, I shall go by the old adage "a picture is worth a thousand words". See below.

2. Mom planted flowers. And then Jared let me out on my porch line because Mom forgot to tell him not to. I have nothing to say, just that the dirt was so fresh and smelled so good and I said that I would just dig a little and then next thing I knew... Never mind. Don't blame me.

3. Shedding. This is currently the most annoying of the three things I am highlighting here. Even I find it annoying. Brianna has been brushing an extra dog out of me every day, and when I scratch myself, clumps of hair fly everywhere. Why, just the other day, Mom had company over. So Brianna vacuumed the entire house. And then I stood in the den on the freshly vacuumed carpet and shook myself off. Hey, it felt good to get that extra hair out! It flew all over and both Mom and Brianna went "I JUST VACUUMED" and had a nice little fit. I don't understand humans, always having fits. But I can't help it!! I'm just a dog, gimmie a break!! And Mom says I look "mangy". Mangy?! Well excuse me! I can't help it, please don't be mad at me, I still love you and I don't mean to be mangy and I'll stop being mangy when I'm done shedding and THANKS now I'm having an identity crisis.

But I'm also very happy lately. See?

Sometimes I'm kind of a diva. A sleepy, doggie diva.

I love Brianna. Even when she picks me up and gives me a hug.

oh no.

Oh no. I'd say I'm not a happy dog, but I really am a happy dog. And I'm not a very good liar. So I'll just say oh no.

You know, I was having a fantastic life. I haven't had a bath in like, a month, because Brianna keeps brushing me. I was with Judah and Gemini over the weekend. I've been to the dog park twice! And doggie daycare yesterday! Eeeeeelaina came over last week. And it was all going great! AND THEN MY PEOPLE WENT AND RUINED THAT.

You know, they fooled me. I was convinced, I tell you, I was CONVINCED that we were going to the dog park today when I got into the car. But you know where we came out? That really interesting smelly place where there are rabbits and squeaky toys and lots of crinkly bags that smell good! And I can't think of what it's called, oh, yes, the pet store. And you know what? They didn't even stop to peruse the squeaky toys and when I pressed my nose against the glass to watch a chinchilla, they told me no! And you know where they took me? To the back. To the funny room where they tied me up!! They tied me up and they had to have three ladies hold me down and they clipped my nails! And also cleaned my ears! AND THEY DIDN'T EVEN GIVE ME A TREAT. WHAT EVILNESS IS THIS?

I'm very good and disgruntled. And you know what I've always maintained. One should always keep their dog good and gruntled.

But I suppose I really can't complain because then they gave me a yummy treat and took me to the dog park. Other than today I've been having an excellent time tromping through fields on my line and barking at birds and playing with sticks and getting wet in the pool at the park and daycare and sleeping a lot. I'm awfully happy. Do you realize my people have had me for nearly a year? I can't believe it.

WOOF WOOF WOOF

Oh deer me, have I really not written in a week? Well, I've been distracted. You see, there are rabbits! And other things! That move! All in the yard! And I'm so distracted!

But that's not really why I've been distracted. Crazy things happened this week! You know how I told you about the big dogs named Gemini and Judah? Well, I was at their house! But not just for a little bit. Mom and Dad and Brianna took me to their house and we went in and said hi and then they brought in my crate and blanket and food and even my tennis ball and treats and they put it all up and then they left. They LEFT! MY PEOPLE LEFT ME!!!

I have to admit, I wasn't terribly perturbed. I mean, I got to play with Judah for like, two days! He and I are best friends now!! (don't tell Sammy, he might be jealous.) But there was this awful wagging feeling inside me that my people had completely abandoned me. But all the people there were really nice (even though one of the boys about Brianna's age wouldn't give me the tennis ball and then he felt upset when I nearly took his hand off. Of course, that was accidental.)

Judah and I played. Nonstop. Gemini kind of tolerated us. She wasn't terribly friendly. But Judah and i are best friends!! and I was such a happy dog!! And the girls didn't want to give me back because they thought I was such a nice dog. Oh, but I love humanity.

And then my people came back! My people came back! They came back! And I still won't let them out of my sight!! I missed them!!! I'm just happy they came back to got me. AND YOU KNOW WHAT?!?! When I went home, they gave me a toy! It's blue and Judah and Gemini didn't like it much. AND IT SQUEAKS!!!! IT SQUEAKS!!!! IT'S MY NEW MOST FAVORITE THING!!!!! IT SSQQQEEEEEEEKKKSSSS!!!!!!

MY LIFE IS AMAZZZINNNNGGGGGG I've just been so happy lately!!!!