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Friday, May 23, 2014

OH OH OH OH

OH MY GOSH YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY?!?!?! Oh, you don't know, do you? Because I don't even know who "you" is and you certainly didn't see what happened today unless you were one of the people who were there, but you'd better not be because if my people find out I write a wog, well, I don't know what will happen.

Anyways, yesterday was doggie daycare. I played and played and you know what? I even got in the pool! And then I rolled in the dust! And when Mom and Brianna showed up to take me home, they were rather upset at my new color and damp, slimy texture. So they brushed me off, right there in the parking lot. Why, I'm not quite sure. Then I got in my crate but instead of going home, we drove and drove and drove...

And we came out at this house! It was a big house with lots of flowers and grass outside and a lot of snurfability. And it smelled like other dogs! OTHER DOGS. And Mom and Brianna took me in and there were PEOPLE!!!! There were two girls and two boys and a nice lady and they all hugged me and pet me and said what a nice dog I was, and then they brought in three other dogs!!! THREE OTHER DOGS!!!! There was a huge fluffy white one named Gemini, and then there was a huge fuzzy black one named Judah and then there was a big golden puppy named Wilby. And they sniffed me and I sniffed them and I wanted to play, but I couldn't because Brianna had the dumb walking collar on me.

And then Brianna and Mom just talked to the people for a long time and I had to just sit there but Brianna finally took me outside and put me in my crate and then a few minutes later they came back out. OH OH OH it was just so exciting! I don't know what the meaning of it all was, but it was so very very very exciting! And I love exciting things!

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Mmmm I'm a wonderful dog.

Well, my people always say I'm a wonderful dog... But anyway, that's neither here nor there nor anywhere nor a squirrel. But this time I know I'm a wonderful dog. You know why? Because we had people over here yesterday evening. And guess what! I was a good dog! I only jumped on two people and then when everybody sat down I just lied right down in the middle of the floor and only sniffed at a few people's ice cream. I was such a good dog. All my people said so.

I guess I'm not much of a puppy anymore, am I?

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Pants smell amazing.

I'm really quite an awful wogger, aren't I? I'm sorry, May is a crazy month. I expect to be wogging more now that it's almost summer, though. Isn't that a cheerful thought? Summer is always a cheerful thought... Dog parks... Long walks... Bugs to chase.... FROGS to chase.... Rabbits to chase.... Friends coming over.... Mmmmm, maybe Mom will even give me ice cream again! That would be wonderful, wouldn't it?

Well, I never told you what happened with the puff ball, did I? She was here for two weeks. On the last day, we both lost our tempers and had to go in our boxes. Then she and I were in our crates in the car and my people got her out but not me and then they took her someplace and a lady got her and then took her inside a house and she was gone! It was actually nice.... I was pretty frustrated with her not wanting to play. So that was that.....

Last week was crazy -- my people had picnics and parties and then this thing called a ball. and I said A BALL?!?!?! YOU'RE GOING TO A BALL AND NOT BRINGING ME?!?!?! HOW CAN YOU GO TO A BALL?!?! YOU PLAY WITH BALLS, YOU DON'T GO TO THEM!!!!! I mean, you can drive to the dog park to get a ball, but why would you do that?! And why did they go without me?! I'm still not understanding the concept.

All week, Brianna had this shiny cloth stuff and she had Emerleh over, and Emerleh's mom and older sister and they all cut pieces out of the shiny cloth and then they got out this scary white thing that sits on the table and Brianna sat at and stuck the shiny cloth into and then it went "WRRH WRRH WRRH" and made big scary noises and I don't know what happened then because I always ran and hid in my box. She did this like, all week. And then whenever she got the shiny cloth and I tried to sniff it she'd yell at me that I was getting noseprints on it. Noseprints? What's wrong with noseprints? Their like fingerprints, only slightly nosier. And she shouldn't complain about my noseprints when her fingerprints are all over it!

So then she put on this outrageous thing -- it was huge and billowous and made of the same shiny fabric but I don't know how that could be! And she put it all on over this puffy thing and it was like clothing. And then she trounced off with Mom and Dad (and Dad shaved his beard off part way and it looked funny and Brianna just burst out into spontaneous laughter for two days every time she looked at him) and met up with Emerleh and Eeeeelaina and Rachel and Leah and Sarah and all her other friends and they did things -- and I don't know what, I just saw pictures of them all in the same sort of outfit.

And I still don't understand why it's called a ball. As far as I could see, whatever they did had NOTHING to do with tennis balls. Or soccer balls, or baseballs or footballs or any other sort of thing like that at all. Can somebody explain this to me?