I'M LEGAL!

I'm a completely legal dog now! Mom renewed my dog license for three more years! Which means that I'm legal for three more years and also that I'm not going back to the pound. Security is a nice feeling. You know, it's a very nice feeling to know you belong. It's quite possibly the best feeling in the world when someone loves you.

You know what else is a nice feeling? Looking pretty. More specifically, new jewelry. Last week I got my shots, which wasn't fun. But they gave me a new tag for my shots! It's orange and nice and shiny right now, although very soon it won't be shiny in the slightest. Now I have four tags and I'll jingle even more. I like walking through the house because my toenails click and my tags jingle and I sound lovely and musical.

Speaking of music, Brianna was using that scary thing called a guitar again today. I hid in my box. It's just so loud. At least she didn't turn on the big black box in the corner of her room. I'm not sure what that big black box does, but she takes this long leash thing and sticks it in the guitar and the other end in the box and then these huge, awful noises come out of it. It's like the radio only much less radioish.

Mom called me Carlotta tonight. What does this even mean?! At least they don't call me Bonquiqui anymore. Or Wigglebutt. Well, sometimes they still do.... It's quite offensive, if you ask me.

Today is a very special day!

Today was a very special day! Do you know why? DO YOU KNOW WHY TODAY WAS A VERY SPECIAL DAY?! BECAUSE I WENT TO THE DOG PARK WITH MOM AND DAD!!!!

But do you know why we went to the dog park? Because this is my one-year-anniversary! I've been a part of the family for exactly a year. I can't believe it! It doesn't feel like a year at all. I love my people. I love my people a lot. They're the best people, really.

Oh, guess what else! Mom got me Dentasticks yesterday! I love Dentasticks. I get them before bed and they're delicious. Oh, and I had to go to the vet last week. They stuck me with needle thingies and it was very unpleasant. They also clipped my nails, which was also very unpleasant. On the other hand, I ate half a bag of treats there. That part was quite pleasant.

Some days I just love being a dog. Actually, I ALWAYS love being a dog. It's THE BEST.

The Party!

There was a party here on Saturday! Like I said, there was a party! It was a big party. It wasn't the crazy kind of party, though. It was the family kind of party. There was Mom and Dad and Jared and Brianna and Rory and Kayley and Grandma and Aunt Denny and Keith and Dorothy! And me! I was the only dog, although Denny and Grandma always smell like another dog.... I really, really, really like Aunt Denny. Last time she was over, Dad scolded her for feeding me cookies under the table. I don't know why, I really liked it.....

I spent most the day on my line, which was ok, because everyone else spent it on the porch. They had all this delicious food. It was a picnic party, you see. I guess it was some kind of holiday. And they even put bacon grease on my dog food!! (BEST DOG FOOD EVER!!) Even Grandma gave me bits of cookie!

I heard everyone talking after they were done eating. I was still on my line. Brianna said to Denny "where are you going?" and she said "to pet the dog" and Rory said "why do you have a hot dog in your hand?" and Denny said "oh, it's just my hot dog, I'm going to eat it" and then Brianna scolded her and I'm not sure why but DENNY GAVE ME THE HOT DOG!!! THE WHOLE HOT DOG!!!!! Do you see why I just LOVE Denny?? But why was she lying? When she came back up on the porch, she announced to all and sundry that she had dropped her hotdog. Keith said "did it hit the ground?" and she said "nope". Boy but that hot dog was tasty. On the other hand, do you suppose eating hot dogs is wrong? Is that cannibalistic of me? I'm not sure I care...

But then I didn't have much fun after that. You see, Jared and Keith and Brianna and Rory stood in the driveway and they threw these things into the driveway and they would blow up! They shot off all this smoke and made this huge noise. I wanted to bark, but I ran and hid in the bushes on the side of the front yard. It was so scary, when Brianna came out with a leash to bring me in, I wouldn't come out of the bushes until she picked up my stick and held it out. Then she gave me a hug and I was scared and shaking all over and I didn't want to go near the big noise but she took me inside anyway and I hid under the desk. But then after Dad sat on the floor with me for awhile and then put me in my box where I was safe, I was ok.

Other than that, the day was amazing! OH BUT I JUST LOVE EVERYONE AND I LOVE SUMMER AND I LOVE THE WHOLE WORLD!!!!!!

Do you ever wonder why people don't have tails?

Well, I knew something was afoot (what a strange word, why would you only have one foot?) this morning when Dad was home this morning. And then he and Mom left, and Brianna got out the thingy that makes all the noise that you run back and forth over the floor -- that's it, the vacuum, that's what it's called. And she put me in my box and vacuumed the entire house. Like, the whole thing. And besides disrupting my midmorning nap, I went to all that work making the floors nice. It took me two weeks to get all those clumps of hair everywhere! In fact, in the den it was so lovely that the entire carpet looked heathered. It was absolutely stunning, but she just HAD to go and CLEAN. Oh well, I always lose hair, so I'll always decorate the house....

And then I chewed on my favorite tennis ball all afternoon. Since it's my favorite, I pulled most of the fabric part off of it. It was tasty. Then I went out on my line and Dad made a lot of noise in the driveway and the next thing I knew he was sitting on this weird thing with two round wheel things and it was taking him down the driveway! I barked! And barked! And then he came back and I was confused.

Mom cooked hamburgers today. She wanted to give me one, but Dad and Brianna wouldn't let me have one. After dinner, the unthinkable happened. Dad put me on my walking collar and leash and took me for a walk. But then when we got inside he didn't take off the leash. He took of my pink collar, the one around my neck. I knew I was done for. I have maintained my dirty state for so long. Such a comforting place to be...

Brianna said "Carly, it's your night! You lucky dog!" and I knew at that moment that she was a terrible, terrible liar, so I ran into my box. She picked up the leash and a bag of treats and we went down to the bathroom. I tried to lie down on my pillow on the way, but she wouldn't let me. And I even gave Dad a really cute, sad look and rubbed my nose on his legs, but he wouldn't let me go, either! So I got a bath. At least Brianna gave me lots of treats. But then I came out and Dad had taken out my nice hair-encrusted rug and put in a clean blanket. I don't know how to feel about that. And now I'm clean. I don't know if I like being clean. I'm also quite undecided on how I feel about being clean.

They said I had to be clean for tomorrow. But I'm not sure what tomorrow is. Mom says it's a party. But what kind of party? And why? And I'm really excited at this idea. I love parties!

I will never understand.

I will never understand, and that's a fact. After all, I'm just a dog. And since I'm just a dog, how can you expect me to understand?

But it would be awfully nice if I did understand. Like, take my people. They don't make sense! They eat things with forks. Why don't they just shove their faces into it? But I suppose not everyone can have as nice a nose as I do.

People wear clothing. Now, I know that people don't have fur coats (and in weather like this, they should be glad of that) but why do they feel the need to wear clothing? If I had no fur, first of all, I'd look funny. (People have got that part mastered.) And I'd also not cover myself up with unnecessary layers. People don't chase rabbits. People don't play with sticks.

But the weirdest thing people do, the weirdest thing, is how they treat dogs. Brianna keeps calling me Snookie Oookum Pops and hugging me like I'm her best friend. (Hey, I am. She doesn't tell me secrets like Eeeeeloina or Emerleh but I don't exactly carry on a good conversation, so I guess that makes sense.) But right after she gets done calling me Snookie Ookum Pops she yells at me to stop jumping on the bed! Like, what's wrong with jumping on the bed? I like the bed. It smells like her and is comfy and covered in pillows and blankets. So why won't they share? Does it mean they don't love me? After all, I keep myself clean and don't chew up blankets. (Well, sometimes I dig holes in the yard and my paws get muddy. But I really don't chew blankets much. And I always clean my paws afterwards.) So why won't they let me on the bed?

BEST. WEEKEND. EVER.

THIS WAS THE BEST. WEEKEND. EVER. OH MY GOODNESS YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED?!?!?! BRIANNA HAD A PARTY.

I love parties! I love parties so much! She had Sarah and Leah and Emerleh and Eeeeeelaina over and they didn't play with me much but they took me on a WALK. And you know why the walk was exciting? It was NIGHT. You know what else? Rory was here! I just love everyone.

You know what else? People don't think I know what's going on, but ohhh.... When you have five teenage girls hanging around, you know what happens? They talk. In fact, nothing short of an explosion can get them to shut up. And even then that doesn't work. They talk and talk and talk and since I'm a dog, I don't talk. And you know what that means? That means I listen.

Oh, but I listen. I listen to all their secrets. I listen when I'm in bed and they sit in the kitchen keeping me up. I listen when I'm out on my line and they won't shut up and you can hear them out the window. I listen when they walk me and talk and talk and talk while half of them run backwards. That's how much girls talk. They talk so much that once everyone's gone home Brianna calls Eeeeeelaina up and the two of them talk for two more hours about everything everyone has already talked about. Sometimes it gets tiring, honestly.

The most common thing they talk about is boys. Boys! Of all the things to talk about, they talk about boys?! What is wrong with that?! They could throw a tennis ball around or chase rabbits or even chew on things but they talk about BOYS?! What do boys even matter? They're just like girls only smellier and they eat less and talk less. (Girls eat so much food, there's always food hanging about and they never give me any of it.) Boys talk much less. I don't even really know any teenage boys. But they're sure not worth talking about for more than a few minutes.

But I suppose maybe.... Never mind, just thinking about Sammy and Judah, sorry. It's so conflicting, this whole boy thing.

Three things about spring.

My people are upset with me. But what on earth is there for my people to complain about? I am literally the perfect dog, and they'll be the first to admit it. And you know, spring is the best time ever, besides summer, which is just like spring only much longer. And you know what happens in spring.

Well, three important things happen in the spring. I shall list them out and tell you why each one matters.

1. Mud. And in this case, I shall go by the old adage "a picture is worth a thousand words". See below.

2. Mom planted flowers. And then Jared let me out on my porch line because Mom forgot to tell him not to. I have nothing to say, just that the dirt was so fresh and smelled so good and I said that I would just dig a little and then next thing I knew... Never mind. Don't blame me.

3. Shedding. This is currently the most annoying of the three things I am highlighting here. Even I find it annoying. Brianna has been brushing an extra dog out of me every day, and when I scratch myself, clumps of hair fly everywhere. Why, just the other day, Mom had company over. So Brianna vacuumed the entire house. And then I stood in the den on the freshly vacuumed carpet and shook myself off. Hey, it felt good to get that extra hair out! It flew all over and both Mom and Brianna went "I JUST VACUUMED" and had a nice little fit. I don't understand humans, always having fits. But I can't help it!! I'm just a dog, gimmie a break!! And Mom says I look "mangy". Mangy?! Well excuse me! I can't help it, please don't be mad at me, I still love you and I don't mean to be mangy and I'll stop being mangy when I'm done shedding and THANKS now I'm having an identity crisis.

But I'm also very happy lately. See?

Sometimes I'm kind of a diva. A sleepy, doggie diva.

I love Brianna. Even when she picks me up and gives me a hug.

WOOF WOOF WOOF

Oh deer me, have I really not written in a week? Well, I've been distracted. You see, there are rabbits! And other things! That move! All in the yard! And I'm so distracted!

But that's not really why I've been distracted. Crazy things happened this week! You know how I told you about the big dogs named Gemini and Judah? Well, I was at their house! But not just for a little bit. Mom and Dad and Brianna took me to their house and we went in and said hi and then they brought in my crate and blanket and food and even my tennis ball and treats and they put it all up and then they left. They LEFT! MY PEOPLE LEFT ME!!!

I have to admit, I wasn't terribly perturbed. I mean, I got to play with Judah for like, two days! He and I are best friends now!! (don't tell Sammy, he might be jealous.) But there was this awful wagging feeling inside me that my people had completely abandoned me. But all the people there were really nice (even though one of the boys about Brianna's age wouldn't give me the tennis ball and then he felt upset when I nearly took his hand off. Of course, that was accidental.)

Judah and I played. Nonstop. Gemini kind of tolerated us. She wasn't terribly friendly. But Judah and i are best friends!! and I was such a happy dog!! And the girls didn't want to give me back because they thought I was such a nice dog. Oh, but I love humanity.

And then my people came back! My people came back! They came back! And I still won't let them out of my sight!! I missed them!!! I'm just happy they came back to got me. AND YOU KNOW WHAT?!?! When I went home, they gave me a toy! It's blue and Judah and Gemini didn't like it much. AND IT SQUEAKS!!!! IT SQUEAKS!!!! IT'S MY NEW MOST FAVORITE THING!!!!! IT SSQQQEEEEEEEKKKSSSS!!!!!!

MY LIFE IS AMAZZZINNNNGGGGGG I've just been so happy lately!!!!

I am so confused?

So there's this puffball, right? Well, it's still here. And I'm still not sure why. I'm quite annoyed today. She won't play! And when I try to play with her, she gets fed up with me and hauls off and yaps! And I don't understand why. And I'm supposedly being really annoying, but I don't get that. I am just so confused. I'm also extremely jealous because Katie is allowed to sit on people's laps and I'm not allowed on the furniture!!! What is wrong with this?! I WANT EQUAL RIGHTS. Not only that, but then the puffball has the audacity to sleep on my pillow! What is wrong with humanity?! Society is falling to ruin!!

This is me and the puffball on Brianna's rug. I'm contemplating chewing on her guitar case and sleeping on her clean laundry, but I doubt she'd appreciate it, even though destruction is the sincerest form of flattery. She should clean her room, anyway.

See? Isn't it weird? It's little. And really fluffy. And I don't understand it. I wish she'd just tell me what she's thinking, but she won't. I think maybe she's sad that her people haven't come to get her. Maybe? I don't know.

In other news, all the snow was all melted and it was nice and muddy and springy, but today it snowed. TODAY IT SNOWED. Can you believe that?! I don't know if I should be really happy or really annoyed. I'm so confused.

Oh, oh, oh, and you'll never guess what happened this weekend!! Eeeeelaina came over and so did Emerleh and then Eeeeeelaina stayed over and it was amazing!!! I LOVE REDHEADS OH MY GOODNESS and they also drank coffee (I don't get the point of this coffee stuff, but all my people consume it like crazy, it's gotten really bad lately, they keep drinking more and more of it) and Emerleh put her empty mug on the floor and I started to lick it, and then Brianna yelled at me.... It tasted good, but kind of funny. I'm also a little paranoid, is my tongue too big?

Church.

What is Church? My people leave me in my box every week the morning after Saturday to go to church. Now, I know church is about God. I love God! I like to sit on my line and look at the trees and the birds and the squirrels and the sky and bark to thank God for it, because it's just the best and He's the best! He made me furry so I'd stay warm in the winter, and he invented evaporational cooling so I'd stay cool in the summer. (That's just a peopley way of explaining why I like hanging my tongue out when I'm hot.) He made the birds and squirrels and deer and even cats (though sometimes I wonder why He thought this world needed cats. Eeeelaina would say I'm being racist, but who needs cats?!) and He made all the dirt for me to dig in and the water to play in and He even made my people who they are! Oh, and He made the redheads and people friends who THEY are, too! Why shouldn't I love Him and be thankful? He's the best! He gave me everything I need and more. He loves me even more than I love Him, and that's crazy! I mean, He doesn't give me tummy rubs or anything, but I know He loves me, and that's funny, because usually I need people to give me tummy rubs to make sure they love me.

So if I love God, and if God loves me, why don't they let me come to church? That's the place you go when you love God, right? So why can't I go?! It's frustrating! All I know about church is that it smells like food and people and floors and metal (I smelled Brianna's slippers, which are furry and look like small animals on her feet and she wears them to Church.) And it's upsetting me that I can't go, too!

It's not fair, I love God as much as all those people who go to church! So why can't I go?! Besides, I want to do everything my people do. It saddens me that they won't bring me with them.

Oh dear. Oh dear.

OH DEER!!!! CAN I CHASE ONE NOW?!?!?! No?! Then why did you bring it up?! Oh wait... I brought it up. DEER!!!!! I LOVE DEER!!!!!!

Getting back to the point... Did I have a point? I haven't posted in so long I've forgotten how! Well, it's been very busy around here with these "holiday" things. I guess the most important thing to tell you is that I GOT A TON OF TREATS AND THERE HAVE BEEN KAYLEES AND REDHEADS AND EMERLEHS AND LEAHS RUNNING RAMPANT AND THE HOUSE GOT CLEANED AND THERE WAS A TREE (a tree??) SET UP IN THE LIVING ROOOM (we went out and tromped through mud and chopped it down and then they stuck it in the living room?) AND THERE WAS LOTS OF FOOD AND THAT FURRY JINGLY THING MOM GOT ME?! WELL IT WAS STUFFED WITH TREATS AND SQUEAKY THINGS!!!!!! I guess... Hmm. Well, I guess I'll just post some pictures! I love pictures!

Yes. She seriously put a bow on me. Thank goodness she forgot about the reindeer costume!!!

Nobody will admit to doing this.

So here's a rather late Merry Christmas to you! Oh, and a Happy New Year, too, whatever that means. All I know about the New Year is that that's when Emerleh and Eeeeelaina showed up and we went down to the dog park but it was really dark and there were no other dogs there and they started whooping and hollering "happy New Year". It really made no sense, even after thinking about for a couple days? Can anybody enlighten me?

MERREH CHRISTMAS!!! HAPPEH NEW YEAARR!!!!!

On the other hand...

There ARE downsides to having a forever family, I suppose. Brianna is threatening to put a bow on my collar. But that's not all! She's talking about dressing me up as a reindeer! Now, I didn't know what that was, but I googled it and I know I do NOT want to be dressed up as one!!!

On the other hand, they feed me and give me treats and I have comfy pillows and a warm, cozy box, and a line that I can stay out on and tromp through the flowerbeds and bark at things on. And they take me to the dog park and give me bacon cheese strips sometimes. And they take me for walks and play games with me. And they won't let me on the furniture, and they do yell at me a lot to get out of the garbage, but I guess the good things outweigh the bad parts.

But really. Seriously? A reindeer?! What is she THINKING?! I'm a DOG for heaven's sakes!!!

Whose am I?

Today Brianna mauled me (I've been meaning to write about that, hang on just a sec.... Ok.)

When Brianna mauls me, she picks me up around my chest and holds me up on my hind legs (just like I was jumping on someone, I don't get this! It's not ok for me to jump on her but it's ok for her to pick me up??) and hugs me and lets me lick her face. She also coos about what a perfect puppy I am and how wonderful and furry my face is. (Or something like that.)

Anyways, so today she was mauling me. (That's what Mom calls it.) And she was going "who's my puppeh, who's my puppeehhh??" and Mom said "I wonder if she knows whose dog she is." And Brianna said "your name is on the paperwork". and Mom said "but you wanted her!" and I said "but you picked her out!" (they have this argument all the time, or at least something to that effect.) Anyway, I'm getting off track. Mom wondered if I knew whose dog I am.

I do! I do know!!! I do, I do, I do!!! I'm the REDHEADS' DOG!!!!!!!

Good grief, I miss those redheads. Both of them. I haven't seen them in months. Not Rachel since August (and I especially like her because she smells like CATS!) and not Eeeeelaina since... October? IDK. It's just been too long and I miss the redheads. Leah came over a couple days ago and spent the night, though! I secretly really love Leah and Eeeeeelaina and Emerleh because they all smell like other dogs!!! (I wonder what happened to Sammy... I haven't heard from him in weeks! Last I knew, he couldn't get his person's tablet to work, so he couldn't post... I really miss him.) =( I haven't seen Sarah in forever, but I love her even more, because she smells like cats! (So does the pillow I sleep on. It smells like Sarah and cats.)

I do miss them. But I love my people. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside to think that I have a forever family. I have a home and people who love me. Mom even promised that she wouldn't ever take me back to the pound! And I'm so excited to spend my first Christmas with my forever family! <3

Ahh yes, my rabbit.

It met a sad and tragic end -- my people say by me, but I say by them! It was in perfectly good shape (abet the head, which was nowhere to be found). And so my people had the cruelty to throw it out! This was all that remained.

A tragic picture, isn't it? The lack of wholeness in this picture echos the lack of wholeness in my heart.

THIS WAS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!

I THINK THIS WAS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!! It was something called a "holiday" but I don't know what that means.

They put me out on my lines a few times for a little while, and it was cold and snowy and wonderful out there! I don't know why, but my people have been cooking. All day. And there is a LOT of food! And they gave me some of it!!! They put squash in my food and Brianna let me lick off a greasy paper plate with sausage and I got MEAT!!!!! TURKEY MEAT!!!!!! And a lot of it, too! It was seriously the best day of my life. Especially because Kayley came over for awhile! And because there was FOOD!!!!!!!! THERE WAS FOOD!!!!!!!!!! LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS OF FOOD!!!!!!

And so then after eating all that food, Mom and Dad and Brianna and Jared watched a movie about lots of ladies wearing a lot of funny hats and I slept on my pillow. It was seriously amazing.

WHEEEEEEEE THURSDAY!!!!!!!!!

TODAY WAS THUUUUUURSDAY!!!!!!!!!! AND BESIDES GOING AND PLAYING ALL DAY LONG, I GOT A NEW THINGUM!!!!!!!!!

You see, after I got home, Dad opened up this big box that smelled like Grandma and pulled out a bed! A doggie bed!! It's fuzzy and kind of small and I LOOOOVE IT!!!! (Dad says she got it for fifty cents at something called a "yard sale". I don't know what that is, or how much fifty cents is exactly, either, but I think it must be a lot of money and a very wonderful place.) And it sort of vaguely smells like another dog!!!! I reeeally reallly love it!!!!

That's me. On my dog bed. With my smashingly gorgeous collar. And the towel that they wipe my paws with. Isn't this just the most beautiful picture you've ever seen of the most adorable creature in the universe? Of course!

I ESCAPED!!!!!!!

I ESCAPED I ESCAPED I ESCAPED OOH I AM SO PROUD OF ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

You see, this morning I was out on my line. Well, I don't even really remember what it was, but I saw something and I lunged to go chase it. My collar broke! I was overjoyed! I ran and ran and ran and I don't even know how long or far! But I was really tired after that and really hot and extremely pleased with myself.

I heard the whistle in the distance... And I started for home. But she stopped blowing it and so I just stood there in someone's yard. And then I saw the van! Mom had come to rescue me! She opened the driver's door and let me just hop right in, which she has NEVER done before! Brianna was running up the road and hopped into the front seat. So I sat there in between the seats and hung my tongue out and they accused me of looking very pleased with myself. Well, who wouldn't be?!

And that was bad enough, them accusing me of looking pleased with myself. But THEN they told me I had made them late for something (I don't know what, who cares!) and that since I had had such a run I must not need to go to the dog park!!! What kind of logic is that?!?! CRAZY. CRAZY CRAZY PEOPLE. So I DIDN'T go to the dog park!!! It wasn't fair!!!

On the other hand, they did buy me a new collar, which is super sturdy and not prone to break (sigh). All the connecty pieces are metal and the rest is like this uber heavy plastic stuff. (sigh) But it's very stylin and gorgeous. It's neon pink and so brings out the tone of my fur and skin. It's lovely, I will post a picture sometime.

DAD IS BAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!

HE'S BACK HE'S BACK HE'S BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tonight I KNEW what was going to happen, I swear I did! So when Brianna took me out to "find a spot" I didn't want to! She finally just put me in the back of the car. And then when we drove a little ways and Brianna got me out I also didn't want to go! I snurfed and snurfed and snurfed and the place smelled like... IDK. A lot of people. It was the same place, I think, that Mom took me the second week I came home. We found Brianna and Dad there! They had been missing for like, a whole week! So now I knew even MORE that we would be getting Dad!

AND THEN HE CAME!!!! He was walking along the sidewalk and I practically lunged out of Brianna's grasp to get to him!!! I WAS SO EXCITED AND I STILL AM OH MY GOSH HE CAME HOME!!!!!!! HE STILL LOVES ME!!!!!!!!!!! AND I STILL LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is my ecstatic self with him.

Where is Dad?!?!?!

Well, I got to go to the dog park! I played with a big standard poodle whose name was Irving, I think. He was really fun, I think I've played with him before. And I played tug-of-war with two other dogs!!! I was just playing with the brown one, Otis, but then the other one came along. I'd like to think I won...

Mine!

MINE.

MINEEEEH!!!!!!

Hah hah hah it's mine....!

NEENER!!!! I HAZ ROPEZ AND CHU DON'T!!!!!!!

But all fun aside, something sketchy really is afoot. I'm not sure what, and that's just the problem. You see this morning, Mom got me up an hour earlier than usual! And then Aunt Denny showed up and Dad left with her. It's almost eleven and he still isn't back yet!!! I don't know what's going on!!! Why did he leave me?! Does he still love me?! Did I do something that made him stop loving me?! What did I do?! Was it because I had an accident the other night?! I'm really sorry, I'm REALLY REALLY SORRY!!!! Please, just come home!!! It's a Saturday, he should have been here all day and played with me!!! Something must be wrong. Where is Dad?!

SO GUESS WHAT?!?!?!

IT'S THUUUUUURRRSSSDAAAAYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE DAY WHERE AMAZING GETS REAL!!!!!!! Mom was a little upset because I supposedly almost pulled her arm off trying to get in... Don't listen to her. Humans always lie. I was a wonderfully behaved dog, just like I always am. I'm probably the most perfect canine ever. Like, legit (as Brianna and the redheads say).

BUT I DIDN'T GET A BATH!!!!!!!!!!! I HAVEN'T HAD A BATH IN TWO WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!! HOOOOOORAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just wish I wasn't so tired by the end of the day... Because if I weren't then I could just do it all over again! :D