Pants smell amazing.

I'm really quite an awful wogger, aren't I? I'm sorry, May is a crazy month. I expect to be wogging more now that it's almost summer, though. Isn't that a cheerful thought? Summer is always a cheerful thought... Dog parks... Long walks... Bugs to chase.... FROGS to chase.... Rabbits to chase.... Friends coming over.... Mmmmm, maybe Mom will even give me ice cream again! That would be wonderful, wouldn't it?

Well, I never told you what happened with the puff ball, did I? She was here for two weeks. On the last day, we both lost our tempers and had to go in our boxes. Then she and I were in our crates in the car and my people got her out but not me and then they took her someplace and a lady got her and then took her inside a house and she was gone! It was actually nice.... I was pretty frustrated with her not wanting to play. So that was that.....

Last week was crazy -- my people had picnics and parties and then this thing called a ball. and I said A BALL?!?!?! YOU'RE GOING TO A BALL AND NOT BRINGING ME?!?!?! HOW CAN YOU GO TO A BALL?!?! YOU PLAY WITH BALLS, YOU DON'T GO TO THEM!!!!! I mean, you can drive to the dog park to get a ball, but why would you do that?! And why did they go without me?! I'm still not understanding the concept.

All week, Brianna had this shiny cloth stuff and she had Emerleh over, and Emerleh's mom and older sister and they all cut pieces out of the shiny cloth and then they got out this scary white thing that sits on the table and Brianna sat at and stuck the shiny cloth into and then it went "WRRH WRRH WRRH" and made big scary noises and I don't know what happened then because I always ran and hid in my box. She did this like, all week. And then whenever she got the shiny cloth and I tried to sniff it she'd yell at me that I was getting noseprints on it. Noseprints? What's wrong with noseprints? Their like fingerprints, only slightly nosier. And she shouldn't complain about my noseprints when her fingerprints are all over it!

So then she put on this outrageous thing -- it was huge and billowous and made of the same shiny fabric but I don't know how that could be! And she put it all on over this puffy thing and it was like clothing. And then she trounced off with Mom and Dad (and Dad shaved his beard off part way and it looked funny and Brianna just burst out into spontaneous laughter for two days every time she looked at him) and met up with Emerleh and Eeeeelaina and Rachel and Leah and Sarah and all her other friends and they did things -- and I don't know what, I just saw pictures of them all in the same sort of outfit.

And I still don't understand why it's called a ball. As far as I could see, whatever they did had NOTHING to do with tennis balls. Or soccer balls, or baseballs or footballs or any other sort of thing like that at all. Can somebody explain this to me?

Oh my goodness, it's spring!

It's spring! I'm so excited! Mostly all the snow has melted and that means... MUUDD!!! I LOVE MUD. I ABSOLUTELY ADORE MUD. Because you know what mud means? THE DOG PARK. The dog park is a mud pit right now.... And I know it very well. I've been three times in the last couple weeks. And I've gotten three baths. Can you believe that? That's the thing about mud, you need baths with it. And I've also been shedding a lot, because spring means it's shedding season. I don't mind, but Mom and Brianna do a lot of vacuuming and Dad is always picking clumps of hair off things.

I'm sorry about not wogging... and I realized that if I actually wogged more I could have a really nice wog. But I just don't feel like wogging when nothing interesting happens to me anymore. I mean, really, lately the only interesting things around are robins (there are flocks of them that Brianna won't let me bark at) and the dog park, swamp-spattered and elusive though it may be.

Life has gotten into such a dull routine, I'm bored. It's the same every day. We all got lazy over the winter. And I gained weight!! Brianna picked me up and stood me on the scale the other day. I'm 52 pounds!! I gained eight pounds over the winter!! Does this make fat? Oh dear, do I need to go on a diet? Because I sure as heck don't want to go on a diet. I LOVE CHEESE. AND I LOVE PEANUT BUTTER. AND I LOVE MEAT. I'M A DOG, I LIVE FOR FOOD. Mom says I still have a lovely, sfelt (sfelt? Is that the word?) figure, but I'm getting a little nervous... I don't want to be a pudgy dog. But she also says I'll burn it all off at the dog park. So I guess I'm ok.

I just wish something interesting would happen. Something really, really, really interesting. Hmm. What would make life more interesting? I know! I wish we had another dog! But that's not going to happen. Now Mom cries over dog stories, but she still says she doesn't want another. What an insult to my race... Anyway, another dog to play with would make life interesting. But you know what else would be interesting? An escape. I haven't escaped since February, and that was lots of fun. I should do that again.

So exciting!

Emerleh and Brianna took me to the dog park today! I played for like, half an hour, which was really stupid, 'cause it should've been like, four times that. And then they took me for a good long walk and put me in the car while they went to something called a "picnic". I don't know what that is, all I know is that there were lots of people and people food and they wouldn't let me have any, but I said hi to a couple people and they loved me! Especially this one lady who was really nice and smelled like dogs and was really friendly and called Brianna "honey". (Makes me wonder how she knows her... But if somebody tried to explain it to me, I don't know if I'd get it, because it's probably some weird people association or something.)

But the BEST part of today, the BEST BEST BEST part was when Brianna was walking me and talking to people and one lady asked "is this THEE eleven-dollar dog?" I was SO HAPPY!!!! This lady has been reading my wog!!! I'm not sure how she found out about it (also what Brianna said) but my life has been made worthwhile. (As long as Mom and Dad and Brianna don't find out I'm a wogger, I'll be ok. If they find out, I think I might be in trouble for being so smart.)

So I am a KNOWN WOGGER!!!! HOORAY!!!!!!!!

I think I know what it's like to love.

Today was doggie daycare! And after sitting here thinking for a long time, I figured something out. So here's what I figured out. 

I love being in the center of the pack. I love being the alpha dog. I love leading. I love it. I love running with other dogs. I love being a dog. I love being a popular dog. I love getting walks. I love it. Did I mention that I love loving things??

I love being loved. I love it when Brianna scratches my ears and gives me tummy rubs. I love it when Mom and Dad scratch my ears and give me tummy rubs. I love my tennis balls and I love it when people throw them. I love playing tug-of-war. I love it when I get bacon cheese strips. And peanutbutter. And cheese. And even just milkbones. And I love chewing rawhide and I love chewing my bones and I just love chewing.

I love chasing bugs. I love chasing rabbits. I love chasing cars. I love chasing tennis balls. I love chasing Brianna. I love chasing frogs and toads. I love chasing my tail. 

I love doggie day care. I love the park. I love playing in the park and playing at doggie day care. I love playing with dog friends. I love people friends. I love playing with people friends, like Eeeelaina and Sarah and Emerleh and Rachel. (I love redheads, too, actually. I just think they're weird.) I love coming home from a long day of playing with friends and always having Brianna and Mom and Dad to pet me and love me.

I love it when I get people food in my kibble. I love it when my people play with me. I love it when they tell me they love me and that I'm a silly dog. I love it when they take out my tennis balls and ropes and play with me. I love it when they give me a rawhide or a bone or even an ice cube. I love having people who love me. I love having a home. I love being loved. 

I love knowing that if I ever run away into the woods again, they'll still be there, calling my name. I love knowing that even if they give me baths they still love me. I love being their dog. I love them being my people. I love it when they take me for walks. I love it when Mom and Brianna come into doggie daycare to pick me up and I'm just soooo happy to see them!!! I love how my people never forget me.

I love how I don't need Captain or Deuce to make me happy. I love how I can be single. I love how I can be independent and I don't need to live for anyone else. I love being single. Relationships are often disastrous.

I love wogging. I love emailing with Sammy. I love checking my wog and seeing if anyone has read it. I love writing new posts, even though typing with paws is really hard.

I love being happy. I love being a dog.

I met a new friend!!!

I got this great email from this dog named Sammy who loves my blog and so I said he could help me write it sometimes!!! I'm excited, I made a new friend!!!!

He's owned by a redhead... I wonder what that says about his personality. Personally, I decide if people are weird or not by what color their hair is. It works very well, very accurate. Like the friend Brianna has over right now, Eeeelaina. She calls me Carls!!! Why?! Anyways, she's fun. She lets me lick her face. I like people that let me lick their face. Brianna won't let me lick her face. I don't know why, I love her. :(

Like just a few minutes ago, I got in trouble for chewing and jumping on them. I don't get it, I do it cause I love them!!! (And they taste better than my Nylabone.) But they don't like it!!! It's bewildering.

Oh, oh, oh, I just remembered! I look dashing in a bandanna. I mean, I hate wearing them, but I look dashing in it. Simply smashingly dashing. You will agree. Look at this picture and you will simply just be unable to argue with me about how gorgeous I am in a bandanna. I'm not sure if red is my color, though. I'm sorry about the blurry tail, I'm very enthusiastic about being adored.

More about blogs.

You know how before I said it would be a good idea to change "blog" to "wog"? Well, I decided that's an even better idea than I thought at first. You know why?

Wog sounds like wag!

Things that make me happy make me wag my tail. Things that make me happy make me write my blog. It makes sense!

I really do wag my tail, by the way. My people claim I wag my whole butt, but that is not true. I don't wag my butt, I wag my tail and it just sort of... carries down! (I wish they'd stop calling me Wigglebutt. That's how Brianna greeted me this morning. She was upset when I came in and jumped on her bed and stuck my nose in her face. And then when I got off her bed, she was upset when I started barking at her because I wanted to play. Actually, I wanted my morning dose of cheese.) So, all and all, it should be called a wog.

Better yet, what if it wasn't a web-log, what if it was a wag-log? Like a log of all the times I wagged my tail? Oh wait, never mind, I'd be posting about two million times a day. So nix that idea. But naming it wog would still be a good idea. In fact... It is a good idea! I think I'll call my blog a wog!

I'm kinda bored right now. I think I'll go bark until I get a bacon cheese strip.

You know what "blog" sounds like?

"Blog" sounds sort of like "blah dog". I think it's not a very nice name for the blogging canines out there. I mean, if you told that to Google or whatever and asked them to change Blogger to Web-Logger (which is what it should be, considering that a blog was originally a web-log), they wouldn't listen. Even if you got a petition of dogs to sign it, they still wouldn't listen. That's the thing. Dogs aren't considered smart enough to have a say in the world. Which, if you ask me, just isn't very fair. We're just like people, only with four legs. And furry and cuter and... Well, dogs. But dogs are just as good as people!

I mean, they could even change it to "wog", which sounds more like web-log than blog. Guaranteed, it sounds like something that could possibly offend a frog. But frogs are dumb. I have never heard of a frog, or even a toad, who kept a journal, much less blogged. So if they changed blog to wog they could save lots of dog clientele. I believe that maybe the reason there are so few dog bloggers is that they're all offended. Also that they're not smart enough to write a blog. And their owners probably stop before they type their password in in front of the dog. Puppies look innocent, but so do hackers.

On the other hand... Maybe I don't want other dogs to start blogging. It's nice to be unique. And if other dogs started, one of my people would probably find my blog. I don't want them to find it, because then they might make me stop... Being a dog who writes is very fun.

In any case, the frogs aren't even worth considering. The reason there are no blogs written by frogs is because frogs are too dumb to write blogs. Also it might be hard to type when you're that small. The only things frogs are good for is chasing and eating. Take it from someone who knows.