Do you ever wonder why people don't have tails?

Well, I knew something was afoot (what a strange word, why would you only have one foot?) this morning when Dad was home this morning. And then he and Mom left, and Brianna got out the thingy that makes all the noise that you run back and forth over the floor -- that's it, the vacuum, that's what it's called. And she put me in my box and vacuumed the entire house. Like, the whole thing. And besides disrupting my midmorning nap, I went to all that work making the floors nice. It took me two weeks to get all those clumps of hair everywhere! In fact, in the den it was so lovely that the entire carpet looked heathered. It was absolutely stunning, but she just HAD to go and CLEAN. Oh well, I always lose hair, so I'll always decorate the house....

And then I chewed on my favorite tennis ball all afternoon. Since it's my favorite, I pulled most of the fabric part off of it. It was tasty. Then I went out on my line and Dad made a lot of noise in the driveway and the next thing I knew he was sitting on this weird thing with two round wheel things and it was taking him down the driveway! I barked! And barked! And then he came back and I was confused.

Mom cooked hamburgers today. She wanted to give me one, but Dad and Brianna wouldn't let me have one. After dinner, the unthinkable happened. Dad put me on my walking collar and leash and took me for a walk. But then when we got inside he didn't take off the leash. He took of my pink collar, the one around my neck. I knew I was done for. I have maintained my dirty state for so long. Such a comforting place to be...

Brianna said "Carly, it's your night! You lucky dog!" and I knew at that moment that she was a terrible, terrible liar, so I ran into my box. She picked up the leash and a bag of treats and we went down to the bathroom. I tried to lie down on my pillow on the way, but she wouldn't let me. And I even gave Dad a really cute, sad look and rubbed my nose on his legs, but he wouldn't let me go, either! So I got a bath. At least Brianna gave me lots of treats. But then I came out and Dad had taken out my nice hair-encrusted rug and put in a clean blanket. I don't know how to feel about that. And now I'm clean. I don't know if I like being clean. I'm also quite undecided on how I feel about being clean.

They said I had to be clean for tomorrow. But I'm not sure what tomorrow is. Mom says it's a party. But what kind of party? And why? And I'm really excited at this idea. I love parties!

WOOF WOOF WOOF

Oh deer me, have I really not written in a week? Well, I've been distracted. You see, there are rabbits! And other things! That move! All in the yard! And I'm so distracted!

But that's not really why I've been distracted. Crazy things happened this week! You know how I told you about the big dogs named Gemini and Judah? Well, I was at their house! But not just for a little bit. Mom and Dad and Brianna took me to their house and we went in and said hi and then they brought in my crate and blanket and food and even my tennis ball and treats and they put it all up and then they left. They LEFT! MY PEOPLE LEFT ME!!!

I have to admit, I wasn't terribly perturbed. I mean, I got to play with Judah for like, two days! He and I are best friends now!! (don't tell Sammy, he might be jealous.) But there was this awful wagging feeling inside me that my people had completely abandoned me. But all the people there were really nice (even though one of the boys about Brianna's age wouldn't give me the tennis ball and then he felt upset when I nearly took his hand off. Of course, that was accidental.)

Judah and I played. Nonstop. Gemini kind of tolerated us. She wasn't terribly friendly. But Judah and i are best friends!! and I was such a happy dog!! And the girls didn't want to give me back because they thought I was such a nice dog. Oh, but I love humanity.

And then my people came back! My people came back! They came back! And I still won't let them out of my sight!! I missed them!!! I'm just happy they came back to got me. AND YOU KNOW WHAT?!?! When I went home, they gave me a toy! It's blue and Judah and Gemini didn't like it much. AND IT SQUEAKS!!!! IT SQUEAKS!!!! IT'S MY NEW MOST FAVORITE THING!!!!! IT SSQQQEEEEEEEKKKSSSS!!!!!!

MY LIFE IS AMAZZZINNNNGGGGGG I've just been so happy lately!!!!

Can you believe it?!

Do you know what my people did to me?! Well, I shouldn't say "my people" because it was all Mom's idea!! They took me to the dog park. Well, that was a lot of fun. It was all snowy and I played with lots of dogs and I actually didn't get dirty, which was unusual. But anyway. And then, and then, and then do you KNOW WHAT THEY DID?

I will tell you what they did! They took me to that place, the, um, the thing, what's it called? The pet shop, that's it! The place where the live rabbits are right next to the dog toys! Oh oh oh oh I love rabbits! They're so furry and chaseable and very evasive, which upsets me... But wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. They didn't let me look at the rabbits (how unfair is that, I even asked for one for Christmas, and do you think I got one, nooo!) and they took me to the back of the store and gave me to a couple ladies who tied me up and put a thing on my nose and then attacked my paws and chopped off all my nails!! I can't believe anybody would be that cruel!!! It is SO NOT FAIR. One of the ladies even works at the doggie daycare!!! This is tyrannical and mean and VILE. I HATE having my nails clipped. In fact, I don't even like anyone touching my paws. Can you BELIEVE they actually did that to me?! I can't.

On the other hand, Emerleh showed up today. She stole my tennis ball, which seemed unkind to me. But she did throw it for me, which was nice of her.

Speaking of tennis balls... I only have one now. You know why? Because my favorite one disappeared. I was just starting to break it in -- it was all squishy and turning kind of brownish and the fabric was peeling away -- and then I finally got it open and chewed it up! I was proud of myself. And then I got put out on my line, and I swear, I wasn't out there more than ten minutes, and when I came back in, IT WAS GONE. I looked EVERYWHERE for it, but it was gone!! I'm pretty sure Brianna threw it out. How nasty is that? That's just plain low. If I threw out her purse, how would she feel? I mean, it's getting worn out, and I don't think she chews on it, but she does carry it everywhere. And If I threw it out, don't you think she might be upset? So why'd she have to go throw out my tennis ball?!

On the other hand...

There ARE downsides to having a forever family, I suppose. Brianna is threatening to put a bow on my collar. But that's not all! She's talking about dressing me up as a reindeer! Now, I didn't know what that was, but I googled it and I know I do NOT want to be dressed up as one!!!

On the other hand, they feed me and give me treats and I have comfy pillows and a warm, cozy box, and a line that I can stay out on and tromp through the flowerbeds and bark at things on. And they take me to the dog park and give me bacon cheese strips sometimes. And they take me for walks and play games with me. And they won't let me on the furniture, and they do yell at me a lot to get out of the garbage, but I guess the good things outweigh the bad parts.

But really. Seriously? A reindeer?! What is she THINKING?! I'm a DOG for heaven's sakes!!!

A thingy!

Mom and Brianna brought me home a thingy! I don't know what it is, but it looks furry and it makes a jingly noise and I KNOW it's mine because it looks a little like my rabbit but not really anything like it. In any case, they won't let me play with it, and I don't know why, because it's obviously mine!

Mom says it's something called a "stocking". But I don't know what that means? She says it will be filled with goodies and treats, but why won't she just give it to me?? It looks fun! I would post a picture, but Mom hid it somewhere in her bedroom, and I'm not allowed in there. =(

I think it has something to do with this Christmas thing. I've heard tell of something else unusual pertaining to this alleged holiday. (I have a great vocabulary for a puppy, don't I?) It's called Santa Claws and I don't get it. He supposedly gives toys and treats to good children and puppies on this day called Christmas. My people keep saying how silly it is that people believe in him because he isn't real. But if he isn't real then why do people talk about him?

On the other hand, he CAN'T be real. After all, why is he known for his claws? That doesn't seem very nice. They could have named him after his ears or tail or nose or even his paws, but his claws? How does that make sense? So I don't believe in him, whoever he may be.

Ahh yes, my rabbit.

It met a sad and tragic end -- my people say by me, but I say by them! It was in perfectly good shape (abet the head, which was nowhere to be found). And so my people had the cruelty to throw it out! This was all that remained.

A tragic picture, isn't it? The lack of wholeness in this picture echos the lack of wholeness in my heart.

My Christmas List!

Here is my Christmas list! It's kind of long... I am a very deprived puppy. And hey, Brianna put a diamond ring (or something like that) on her list, so why can't I put whatever I want on my list?

• Pink tennis balls! Green gets really boring.
• A big fluffy dog bed, like a really big one that's really fluffy. Not that I need another one...
• A RABBIT!!!
• A SQUIRREL!!!
• A DEER!!!
• A CAT!!!
• A BIRD!!!!!
• THE CHANCE TO RUN THROUGH THE WOOD FOREVER!!!!!!
• A buddy. Like, a four-legged furry one that barks and lives with me.
• A bright pink bandanna to match my bright pink collar. (well, Brianna wants to get me one of those, anyway.)
• FOOD. ALL THE FOOD. PEOPLE FOOD.
• Peanutbutter.
• Bacon cheese strips!!!
• A new stuffed rabbit. Mine met a disturbing end. I shall write about that later....
• A SQUEEEEEKY THING!!!!
• SQUEEKY TENNIS BALLS
• A redhead. To live with me. I miss them. =(
• A new leash! A pretty leash! A stylish leash!
• A sweater. (actually, I don't want one of those. My people are just threatening to buy me one for really cold days.)
• Rope toys! Preferably the preferable ones!
• License to jump on people.
• To be allowed to go through the garbage.
• Unlimited time at the dog park.
• Rawhide.
• To bark at things whenever I want. (My people are complaining I'm becoming too "barky". Stupid idea, barking is fun! Maybe I just get tired of not saying anything!)
• Those chewy bone thingies Mom bought me once. But only once. And they were really delicious.
• No more baths. Ever.
• Love. Lots and lots of love. <3

That's all I can think of right now! If I remember anything else, I shall add it. Now I'm off to go bark at nothing in particular.

TENNIS BALLS!!!!!!!!!

BRIANNA GOT MY TENNIS BALLS BACK OUT!!!!!!!!! WHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! I haven't played with my tennis balls in FOREVER. They've been on top of the fridge, totally forgotten about. A forgotten ball is a heartbreaking thing. I was just so happy when she got them out yesterday. So I've been in "cat mode" (though that is  an offensive term) and chasing them up and down the hallway and losing them under furniture. (Stupid furniture. It always gets in the way.)

But what's even BETTER is THIS. Mom got me a NEW TOY!!!!!! It's a stuffed bunny that has SQUEEEEKERS!!!!!! (And no stuffing....) And I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!! I THROW IT IN THE AIR AND CHASE IT AND SQEEEAK IT AND PULL ON IT AND IT'S ALREADY PARTIALLY DESTROYED!!!!!!!!!!!

Aaaahhhhhhh I love new toys. So much fun to wreck.

AND ALL THIS IS NOT EVEN THE EXTENT OF THE AMAZINGNESS!!!!!!!!!!! MOM BROUGHT ME HOME A PILLOW!!!!!!! And by "pillow" I mean A BIG SQUARE BROWN PILLOW THAT IS REALLY REALLY REALLY CUSHY AND SITS ON THE FLOOR!!!!!!! I'm not sure where she got it, but she brought it home yesterday and it smells like cats.

YAYAYAYAY!!!!

TODAY WAS WONDERFUL!!!!! I mean, there was a slight problem in that I got in trouble... There were these things! Throughout the day they kept falling off the table! They were small and roundish and orange and yellow and green... And as soon as it rolled off the table I ran underneath and grabbed it and ran into my box! It was just like a ball! Or a chewy toy!

But then Brianna took it away from me and she and Mom scolded me! They told me "that is an orneementil gored! It is not for Carly! You may not eat it!" and then they threw them both away! I was very perturbed.

But it wasn't a bad day. I mean, like, Kayley showed up! And Derick! Kayley and Derick are two of Rory's friends, and they love dogs! Kayley likes walking me and running me up and down the driveway. She and Brianna frequently laugh like maniacs and it bothers me... And Derick smells like a dog! And he's reeally nice. He just scratched my ears and scratched my ears and scratched my ears. It was like, amazing. So I guess today wasn't too bad.

Rory doesn't like me. He calls me a mutt. ='( And neither does his friend, Ryan, who says he's a cat person. CAT PERSON?!?!?! That's ridiculous!!! Cats are the scum of the earth. Dogs are the diamonds. And Rory's other friend, Greg, is amazing! He smells like a dog, too! He has a big beard and a lot of hair and is really nice to me and everyone! I love him! Well, I love everyone... Even the people who don't love me!

Dad

I love Dad. I mean, I really love Dad. I love Brianna and Mom and all my other people, but I really love Dad. I won't say I love him the best, but I sort of do sometimes... He sits on the floor with me and plays with me when he gets home from work at night. He plays tug-of-war with me. He throws my balls and ropes for me. And he doesn't yell at me when I jump on him, so I jump on him all the time. He also puts people food in my bowl more than Mom and Brianna. And he lets me pull on my leash and snurf as much as I want. I just really love Dad.

Maybe it was because he was the one that picked me up and shoved me into the crate in the back of the car when they brought me home. Or maybe it's cause he's gone all day and "absence makes the heart grow fonder". But all I know is I've loved him ever since he first walked into my kennel at the pound and sat on the floor with me. That was a long time ago, too.

I think I know what it's like to love.

Today was doggie daycare! And after sitting here thinking for a long time, I figured something out. So here's what I figured out. 

I love being in the center of the pack. I love being the alpha dog. I love leading. I love it. I love running with other dogs. I love being a dog. I love being a popular dog. I love getting walks. I love it. Did I mention that I love loving things??

I love being loved. I love it when Brianna scratches my ears and gives me tummy rubs. I love it when Mom and Dad scratch my ears and give me tummy rubs. I love my tennis balls and I love it when people throw them. I love playing tug-of-war. I love it when I get bacon cheese strips. And peanutbutter. And cheese. And even just milkbones. And I love chewing rawhide and I love chewing my bones and I just love chewing.

I love chasing bugs. I love chasing rabbits. I love chasing cars. I love chasing tennis balls. I love chasing Brianna. I love chasing frogs and toads. I love chasing my tail. 

I love doggie day care. I love the park. I love playing in the park and playing at doggie day care. I love playing with dog friends. I love people friends. I love playing with people friends, like Eeeelaina and Sarah and Emerleh and Rachel. (I love redheads, too, actually. I just think they're weird.) I love coming home from a long day of playing with friends and always having Brianna and Mom and Dad to pet me and love me.

I love it when I get people food in my kibble. I love it when my people play with me. I love it when they tell me they love me and that I'm a silly dog. I love it when they take out my tennis balls and ropes and play with me. I love it when they give me a rawhide or a bone or even an ice cube. I love having people who love me. I love having a home. I love being loved. 

I love knowing that if I ever run away into the woods again, they'll still be there, calling my name. I love knowing that even if they give me baths they still love me. I love being their dog. I love them being my people. I love it when they take me for walks. I love it when Mom and Brianna come into doggie daycare to pick me up and I'm just soooo happy to see them!!! I love how my people never forget me.

I love how I don't need Captain or Deuce to make me happy. I love how I can be single. I love how I can be independent and I don't need to live for anyone else. I love being single. Relationships are often disastrous.

I love wogging. I love emailing with Sammy. I love checking my wog and seeing if anyone has read it. I love writing new posts, even though typing with paws is really hard.

I love being happy. I love being a dog.

I'M BAAAACK!!!!!

It's Carly again! No, I didn't leave! I missed posting, yesterday, though. But I'm really excited to have Sammy help me write my blog sometimes!!! I love having doggie friends!!! And Sammy is so sweet. :)

Yesterday I went to the vet. If dogs could facepalm, I would be doing it right now. She stuck needles into me!!! It was awful!!! The treats they give there are ok, I guess. Not the best, but pretty good. They're nice to me, they pet me and let me lick them and nibble them. I STILL don't like the vet.

I went to the dog park today!!! I made friends with two white German Shepards and a spotted dog named Dora and a bunch of other dogs. And I tried to chase a butterfly! I love chasing those! This one was big and orange and black and flying just above my head. I wanted it. I mean, I wanted it. I  mean, I REALLY WANTED it!!!! The ones at home that fly around the door are all like gray and white. THIS one was ORANGE and it was BIG!!!! I chased it around and around and all the other people there were laughing at me and saying how cute I was. I didn't catch it. But it was amazing!!! :P (That's me, panting after Brianna hooked me onto my leash and forced me back to the car.) ^_^

And then when we got home, Dad played tug of war with me with a new rope!!! They got me a new rope!!! (He threw away the pink one that I shredded last week.) I have a new rope!!! I love it!!! It's so... ropey!!!

That's all for now! I'm really exhausted. Goodnight! :)

P.S. Sammy, I'd be very glad to sign your petition to have all cats covered in bacon and cheese... But only the annoying ones. There are nice cats in this world... Somewhere... I guess... I mean, I've never met any, but... So, yes, I would like to help you with that. :)

HIHIHIHIHEEEYY!!!!!!!

HI! HI HI HI HI HI HEY HI THERE HELLO! HI!!!
I'M SO HAPPY TO MEET YOU! Can I lick your face? Too soon? OK...
My name is Sammy, AND I'M SO HAPPY TO MEET YOU! I WISH I COULD JUST MEET PEOPLE ALL THE TIME! IT'S JUST SUCH A GREAT FEELING!

Oh my gosh... was that a squirrel?  HEY YOU SQUIRREL!

Oh, who are you? HI! HELLO HEYA- oh wait, we already did this!
Layna says I'm ADD, but I don't know what that is... it seems a tad extreme.

I love Layna, I love her the most right now. see, she gives me dry dog food ALL the time, and the other dog who lives in our house ALWAYS gets the yummy wet stuff... it smells so good... Layna never lets me taste Pippin's (the other dog) yummy food. All I want is a taste!
but today she gave a WHOLE CAN! After she said something to her mother about "running outa Sammy's food," but it was ALL MINE! She's the best person EVER!
But she is continuously trying to steal my new toy! And she laughs when I try to pull it out of her hands, (I usually win though,) I've had to start sleeping with it in my mouth. I'm worried if I don't, she'll take it away for good! I love it so much, it smells like dirty laundry, and Layna.

I love Layna, she's the best person EVER!

I hope she doesn't mind I'm using her account to write this blog, she wont. I really DIDN'T mean to change the name to Sammy, buuuuttt........ I don't think she'll mind, she says I'm her most favorite dog in the world! I got the idea to blog when I started reading this other dog's blog, her name is Carly. She's so smart and thoughtful... So I emailed her, and told her how inspiring she is, she said she was flattered! so I told her of my dreams of being a "wogger" myself, but i didn't quite know where to begin. So she invited me to write a post on her blog some times! SHE'S JUST SO COOL!
I wonder if she chases cats, and if she will sign my petition to have all cats covered in bacon and melted cheddar cheese slices that fell in the dirt. Mmmmmmmmm...... i get this tingly feeling just thinking about it....
It's funny how she talks about Brianna's red head friends, Layna's a red head...

Brianna is crazy, seriously.

Seriously. She's crazy. She has this little box she carries around all the time. Well, ok, so its not really a box, but that's about as close a term I can think of. Its flat and long. It plays music. And she stands there holding it and says "Carly! Look at me!" And it makes a clicking noise when I do.

But the weirdest part is lately... I'm not sure what! She did something to it! And now it will sit on the table it or she'll hold it and tap it and it will make noises! But not just any noises, it barks! And meows and squeaks and cries and whistles and barks again! Its driving me crazy!!! I don't get it!!! What is it?! Is Brianna keeping dogs in her little flat box?? Do I need to rescue them? And how does my squeaky toy fit in there? What is going on?!

Actually, I'm really depressed. My squeaky toy is no more. Mom threw it out today because I poked a hole in it and was chomping it. I'm so sad, I LOVE my squeaky toy. Maybe they'll buy me another one. :(

Other than that, today was really fun! Mom and Dad took me to the park and I chased seagulls. The only problem was that... Well, they were forty feet above my head. That made them hard to catch. I also played fetch in the backyard with Brianna and tried to get at the birds at the bird feeder through the kitchen window. I just hate it that I can never catch them!!!

I hate to say it, but lately we've been having communication problems. I just don't understand! They yell at me and clap their hands and bop my nose when I jump up on the windowsill! I don't get it, what did I do wrong?! I'm trying to watch the birds is all, well, actually, catch them. The big ones upset me, I don't like to see them swooping around outside where I can't get to them. It just drives me crazy. So I jump up to get a better view. But then I get in trouble.

I don't know why! I'm not doing anything wrong, am I? I wish they understood me. But I can't talk!

Anyway, I suppose it's a small price to pay for having people who love me and give me bacon-cheese flavored strips for rolling around in circles. I don't get that, either, but I'll expand on it later...

This is me. And my squeaky toy. Before Mom killed it. Brianna is dangling it above my head so she can get a good picture, which I don't understand. Anyway, you should appreciate me posting a picture because it's very hard to use the touch screen on Brianna's little box to email the picture to myself. I just can't figure it out, what is it?! I know it takes pictures when it clicks, but why do music and other dogs come out of it?? I'm so confused. (By the way, that's one of my favorite tennis balls on top of my rug. Brianna calls it Howard. The other one that's not in the picture is Oscar.)