I'M LEGAL!

I'm a completely legal dog now! Mom renewed my dog license for three more years! Which means that I'm legal for three more years and also that I'm not going back to the pound. Security is a nice feeling. You know, it's a very nice feeling to know you belong. It's quite possibly the best feeling in the world when someone loves you.

You know what else is a nice feeling? Looking pretty. More specifically, new jewelry. Last week I got my shots, which wasn't fun. But they gave me a new tag for my shots! It's orange and nice and shiny right now, although very soon it won't be shiny in the slightest. Now I have four tags and I'll jingle even more. I like walking through the house because my toenails click and my tags jingle and I sound lovely and musical.

Speaking of music, Brianna was using that scary thing called a guitar again today. I hid in my box. It's just so loud. At least she didn't turn on the big black box in the corner of her room. I'm not sure what that big black box does, but she takes this long leash thing and sticks it in the guitar and the other end in the box and then these huge, awful noises come out of it. It's like the radio only much less radioish.

Mom called me Carlotta tonight. What does this even mean?! At least they don't call me Bonquiqui anymore. Or Wigglebutt. Well, sometimes they still do.... It's quite offensive, if you ask me.

Today is a very special day!

Today was a very special day! Do you know why? DO YOU KNOW WHY TODAY WAS A VERY SPECIAL DAY?! BECAUSE I WENT TO THE DOG PARK WITH MOM AND DAD!!!!

But do you know why we went to the dog park? Because this is my one-year-anniversary! I've been a part of the family for exactly a year. I can't believe it! It doesn't feel like a year at all. I love my people. I love my people a lot. They're the best people, really.

Oh, guess what else! Mom got me Dentasticks yesterday! I love Dentasticks. I get them before bed and they're delicious. Oh, and I had to go to the vet last week. They stuck me with needle thingies and it was very unpleasant. They also clipped my nails, which was also very unpleasant. On the other hand, I ate half a bag of treats there. That part was quite pleasant.

Some days I just love being a dog. Actually, I ALWAYS love being a dog. It's THE BEST.

BEST. WEEKEND. EVER.

THIS WAS THE BEST. WEEKEND. EVER. OH MY GOODNESS YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED?!?!?! BRIANNA HAD A PARTY.

I love parties! I love parties so much! She had Sarah and Leah and Emerleh and Eeeeeelaina over and they didn't play with me much but they took me on a WALK. And you know why the walk was exciting? It was NIGHT. You know what else? Rory was here! I just love everyone.

You know what else? People don't think I know what's going on, but ohhh.... When you have five teenage girls hanging around, you know what happens? They talk. In fact, nothing short of an explosion can get them to shut up. And even then that doesn't work. They talk and talk and talk and since I'm a dog, I don't talk. And you know what that means? That means I listen.

Oh, but I listen. I listen to all their secrets. I listen when I'm in bed and they sit in the kitchen keeping me up. I listen when I'm out on my line and they won't shut up and you can hear them out the window. I listen when they walk me and talk and talk and talk while half of them run backwards. That's how much girls talk. They talk so much that once everyone's gone home Brianna calls Eeeeeelaina up and the two of them talk for two more hours about everything everyone has already talked about. Sometimes it gets tiring, honestly.

The most common thing they talk about is boys. Boys! Of all the things to talk about, they talk about boys?! What is wrong with that?! They could throw a tennis ball around or chase rabbits or even chew on things but they talk about BOYS?! What do boys even matter? They're just like girls only smellier and they eat less and talk less. (Girls eat so much food, there's always food hanging about and they never give me any of it.) Boys talk much less. I don't even really know any teenage boys. But they're sure not worth talking about for more than a few minutes.

But I suppose maybe.... Never mind, just thinking about Sammy and Judah, sorry. It's so conflicting, this whole boy thing.

Oh my goodness, it's spring!

It's spring! I'm so excited! Mostly all the snow has melted and that means... MUUDD!!! I LOVE MUD. I ABSOLUTELY ADORE MUD. Because you know what mud means? THE DOG PARK. The dog park is a mud pit right now.... And I know it very well. I've been three times in the last couple weeks. And I've gotten three baths. Can you believe that? That's the thing about mud, you need baths with it. And I've also been shedding a lot, because spring means it's shedding season. I don't mind, but Mom and Brianna do a lot of vacuuming and Dad is always picking clumps of hair off things.

I'm sorry about not wogging... and I realized that if I actually wogged more I could have a really nice wog. But I just don't feel like wogging when nothing interesting happens to me anymore. I mean, really, lately the only interesting things around are robins (there are flocks of them that Brianna won't let me bark at) and the dog park, swamp-spattered and elusive though it may be.

Life has gotten into such a dull routine, I'm bored. It's the same every day. We all got lazy over the winter. And I gained weight!! Brianna picked me up and stood me on the scale the other day. I'm 52 pounds!! I gained eight pounds over the winter!! Does this make fat? Oh dear, do I need to go on a diet? Because I sure as heck don't want to go on a diet. I LOVE CHEESE. AND I LOVE PEANUT BUTTER. AND I LOVE MEAT. I'M A DOG, I LIVE FOR FOOD. Mom says I still have a lovely, sfelt (sfelt? Is that the word?) figure, but I'm getting a little nervous... I don't want to be a pudgy dog. But she also says I'll burn it all off at the dog park. So I guess I'm ok.

I just wish something interesting would happen. Something really, really, really interesting. Hmm. What would make life more interesting? I know! I wish we had another dog! But that's not going to happen. Now Mom cries over dog stories, but she still says she doesn't want another. What an insult to my race... Anyway, another dog to play with would make life interesting. But you know what else would be interesting? An escape. I haven't escaped since February, and that was lots of fun. I should do that again.

Church.

What is Church? My people leave me in my box every week the morning after Saturday to go to church. Now, I know church is about God. I love God! I like to sit on my line and look at the trees and the birds and the squirrels and the sky and bark to thank God for it, because it's just the best and He's the best! He made me furry so I'd stay warm in the winter, and he invented evaporational cooling so I'd stay cool in the summer. (That's just a peopley way of explaining why I like hanging my tongue out when I'm hot.) He made the birds and squirrels and deer and even cats (though sometimes I wonder why He thought this world needed cats. Eeeelaina would say I'm being racist, but who needs cats?!) and He made all the dirt for me to dig in and the water to play in and He even made my people who they are! Oh, and He made the redheads and people friends who THEY are, too! Why shouldn't I love Him and be thankful? He's the best! He gave me everything I need and more. He loves me even more than I love Him, and that's crazy! I mean, He doesn't give me tummy rubs or anything, but I know He loves me, and that's funny, because usually I need people to give me tummy rubs to make sure they love me.

So if I love God, and if God loves me, why don't they let me come to church? That's the place you go when you love God, right? So why can't I go?! It's frustrating! All I know about church is that it smells like food and people and floors and metal (I smelled Brianna's slippers, which are furry and look like small animals on her feet and she wears them to Church.) And it's upsetting me that I can't go, too!

It's not fair, I love God as much as all those people who go to church! So why can't I go?! Besides, I want to do everything my people do. It saddens me that they won't bring me with them.

Whose am I?

Today Brianna mauled me (I've been meaning to write about that, hang on just a sec.... Ok.)

When Brianna mauls me, she picks me up around my chest and holds me up on my hind legs (just like I was jumping on someone, I don't get this! It's not ok for me to jump on her but it's ok for her to pick me up??) and hugs me and lets me lick her face. She also coos about what a perfect puppy I am and how wonderful and furry my face is. (Or something like that.)

Anyways, so today she was mauling me. (That's what Mom calls it.) And she was going "who's my puppeh, who's my puppeehhh??" and Mom said "I wonder if she knows whose dog she is." And Brianna said "your name is on the paperwork". and Mom said "but you wanted her!" and I said "but you picked her out!" (they have this argument all the time, or at least something to that effect.) Anyway, I'm getting off track. Mom wondered if I knew whose dog I am.

I do! I do know!!! I do, I do, I do!!! I'm the REDHEADS' DOG!!!!!!!

Good grief, I miss those redheads. Both of them. I haven't seen them in months. Not Rachel since August (and I especially like her because she smells like CATS!) and not Eeeeelaina since... October? IDK. It's just been too long and I miss the redheads. Leah came over a couple days ago and spent the night, though! I secretly really love Leah and Eeeeeelaina and Emerleh because they all smell like other dogs!!! (I wonder what happened to Sammy... I haven't heard from him in weeks! Last I knew, he couldn't get his person's tablet to work, so he couldn't post... I really miss him.) =( I haven't seen Sarah in forever, but I love her even more, because she smells like cats! (So does the pillow I sleep on. It smells like Sarah and cats.)

I do miss them. But I love my people. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside to think that I have a forever family. I have a home and people who love me. Mom even promised that she wouldn't ever take me back to the pound! And I'm so excited to spend my first Christmas with my forever family! <3

EMERLEH!!!!!

EMERLEH SHOWED UP TODAY!!!!!!! I LOVE SUNDAYS BECAUSE SHE KEEPS ON APPEARING ON THEM!!!!!!!!!!!! She and Brianna walked me four miles in the snow because I was hyperactive. And then I was exhausted and conked out. And then she LEFT. Can you BELIEVE that?! Emerleh LEFT. She LEFT ME?!?!?!?!

Oh well, at least maybe she'll show up again sometime soon..... But as a dog I have no patience. And I'm quite proud of that because being a dog is the highest calling someone can have (especially someone with four legs and fur).

The dogs down the road

I love walks, but I hate having to walk by all these houses where there are other dogs. Brianna only ever walks me down the one way, never the other. (I think it's because she knows where all the dogs live on that road and she likes yelling at me not to bark at them.) There's a golden retriever next door at the apartment complex, and then down the road a little ways on the other side there's a brown dog that always barks and that Brianna and Emerleh say is pathetic. Right up from that is another brown dog. Then on the other side across from there are two (I think) little fluffy things (Emerleh calls them "footballs".) There's a black and white fluffy dog on the other side down a little ways, and then right up after that is the big house where Eeeeelaina is a juveenile deelinkwent and they have a lab or a golden retriever, I'm not sure which, maybe both. Across from that is a lady with two corgi mixes. Then down further is a little house with an invisible fence. They have a husky. It never barks, it just sits there in the lawn and stares us down whenever we walk by. It doesn't so much as move or make any noise at all, it just stares. It always looks very angry and Brianna accuses me of flipping out. Then all the way down at the end of the road where it turns is a trailer with a barn and I can frequently hear big dogs barking but I've never seen them.

The whole thing wouldn't bother me so much if Brianna would only let me make friends and play with them! But she just pulls on my leash and tells me to stop barking and come on! How not fair is that?! She's trying to stop me on my life goal to become everyone in the world's best friend!!! And deterring someone on their life mission is not a nice thing to do.

Monday. Monday monday monday.

Well this Monday 4H got canceled AGAIN. I'm really starting to miss all the treats. So I stayed in my crate at home all day. No dog park. What is wrong with my people?! :(

And Dad STILL isn't home yet!!! I'm freaking out, where IS he?! Did he leave me?! FOREVER?!?!?! Does he still love me?! What did I do to make him leave?! I'm so scared. :(((

Where is Dad?!?!?!

Well, I got to go to the dog park! I played with a big standard poodle whose name was Irving, I think. He was really fun, I think I've played with him before. And I played tug-of-war with two other dogs!!! I was just playing with the brown one, Otis, but then the other one came along. I'd like to think I won...

Mine!

MINE.

MINEEEEH!!!!!!

Hah hah hah it's mine....!

NEENER!!!! I HAZ ROPEZ AND CHU DON'T!!!!!!!

But all fun aside, something sketchy really is afoot. I'm not sure what, and that's just the problem. You see this morning, Mom got me up an hour earlier than usual! And then Aunt Denny showed up and Dad left with her. It's almost eleven and he still isn't back yet!!! I don't know what's going on!!! Why did he leave me?! Does he still love me?! Did I do something that made him stop loving me?! What did I do?! Was it because I had an accident the other night?! I'm really sorry, I'm REALLY REALLY SORRY!!!! Please, just come home!!! It's a Saturday, he should have been here all day and played with me!!! Something must be wrong. Where is Dad?!

This Monday was unlike most others.

First of all, Brianna and Mom didn't go anywhere! That made me happy. We stayed home together and I got to be on my line. I love my line! And then nobody stopped by to pick Brianna and I up tonight. So that was nice. Mom and Dad didn't go anywhere, either.

It's so annoying being a dog. You can't do anything. Nobody tells you anything! I'm sure there was a reason that today was different, but nobody told me why! When you're a dog, everybody thinks you don't need to know. But you do! Dogs need to know what's going on just as much as people do! But no, Mom never sits me down like she does with Brianna and explains "this is what we're doing today". And when she does do that with Brianna, I'm usually napping on my pile of pillows. And it's not like I can just check the calendar -- that's four feet above my head! How people treat dogs is not fair.

Like Brianna! She keeps calling me "a twit"! Ever since she heard a lady call her English Sheepdog that was rolling around in the water a twit, she's been calling ME a twit every time I do something she considers even remotely stupid or annoying! It's so mean and so rude! It really hurts my feelings. :( And Mom says "you're gonna hurt her feelings!" and Brianna says "she has no idea what I mean!" But I DO know what she means and it DOES hurt my feelings!!! It's not nice!!! :'(

I wish dogs could really cry. Like with tears.

I went to the dog park today. That was really fun. I played with a dog named Jake and a dog named Eloise! That was really fun! I got all dirty and it was WONDERFUL. I ran and ran and RAN AND RAN!!!! The afternoon went by so FAST!!!!

The only problem was, like I said, I got dirty. Well, that wasn't a problem. The problem was that they decided I needed a bath. But that wasn't the whole problem. The biggest part of the problem was that they decided they don't like my feet. They decided that my toenails weren't right. They decided they were too long. So they decided to clip them.

It. Was. AWFUL. I'm not kidding, it was horrible!!! Brianna did my back feet while Dad held me still, and that was bad, but not as bad as when Dad did my front paws. He clipped one too close and I yelped and it started bleeding and I hid in my crate and cried.

That was when they decided to give me the bath. That was ok, I guess. I had an accident on the floor after that. I felt really bad, but then Dad walked out into the living room and said: "Carly, did you do this?" and so I ran and hid in my crate. He's mad at me, I know it, he's mad at me. So is Brianna, that's why they clipped my toenails. I think even Mom must be mad at me, she dragged me out of my crate and put a pillow in there for me, and then put a blanket over it. But she MADE me get OUT. And Brianna took off my collar for the night. I feel so naked, like they abandoned me. I think they don't love me anymore and they're going to take me back to the pound. ='(

There are a lot of things to think about when you're a dog.

Like why do birds fly? How does that work? Why can't I fly? It's not really very fair, is it? Why can't I sit on chairs and beds like people? Why can't I run like a rabbit? Why do I have a tail? Why do rabbits have tails?? Why don't people have tails?

Why are people like they are? Why are dogs like they are? Why aren't people like dogs and dogs like people? What makes one the other and other the one? Why am I not a person? Why is Brianna not a dog? Why do people have strange ideas? Why do Brianna's pants end up smelling like other dogs?

Why am I the only white dog at the dog park? Why am I the only one with a heart tag? Why am I not fluffy like other dogs? Why do neither Captain or Deuce really like me? Why can't I get a soulmate? Am I really lovable? Or am I just "overbearing"?

Why are redheads weird? Why is Eeeeeeelaina the weirdest? Why are she and Emerleh fun? Why does Sarah never seem excited to see me? Aren't I just the greatest dog in the world? And WHY does Sarah ALWAYS smell like cats?? That really bugs me!!! I want the cat she always smells like!!! I want to roll it in bacon and cheese and give it to Sammy!!!

DOG PARK!!!!

WHEEEE!!!!! We went to the dog park today!!! FINALLY. I couldn't go anywhere because of that stupid flea medication!!! I couldn't get dirty because that would mean getting a bath, which I couldn't do for a few days after Dad put on the flea medicine. IT WAS AWFUL.

It was totally worth it! We totally didn't stay long enough!! I played with another dog named Harley! (It got a little confusing.) I chased balls! I played in the water! Then I rolled in the dirt!

I had a lot of fun, buuutt.... Well, its a long story. Then again, you have time. There's a big dog park, and a little dog park, for dogs under 25 pounds. So these two ladies came into the big dog park. They had a little Spaniel and this tiny, disgusting pug, and another fluffy thing. I wanted to play! So I tried to play, but they didn't really want to, I guess. And then the one lady were wondering who's the "white dog" was (everyone always thinks I'm white, it drives me crazy!). Mom and Brianna were like "that's ours. Carly, come on!" Of course, I ignored them. I always do. Then the other lady is like "she's being kind of overbearing."

Seriously. Don't bring your little dogs into the big dog park and then complain about my personality! That made me mad. And sad. And really annoyed. At least they left right after that. I hope they learned their lesson!!!

Plus, I'm feeling really insecure... I've been noticing other dog's tags. All the other big dogs have either blue flowers or yellow bones for tags. One of the little dogs had one that was red and a heart like mine. Am I weird because I have a pink heart? Do the other dogs laugh at me because I have a little dog tag? Do they not like me? Or do they not even notice? Am I the only one who notices tags? I feel really sad. Maybe nobody likes me.

#insecure

(Well, I did say I was going to start using hashtags...)

I'm feeling very insecure and heartbroken. Rory called me "dumber than a brick" last night. He never wants to play with me. I think he hates me. He always tells me to go away and never pets me. He makes jokes about Indian food and using a Pomeranian for footballs. (Never mind I think that'd be a great use for a Pomeranian... But it's the principle of the thing!) I think he hates me.

Maybe I am dumb. Maybe I really am. Maybe I'm stupid. Maybe nobody loves me. Maybe I'm just not worth it. Maybe it's all an act to make me think they love me. Maybe they really will take me back to the pound. Maybe I'm ugly. Maybe my nose is too long and my ears are too big. Maybe my fur is too rough and my feet are all wrong. Maybe I'm just a stupid, worthless dog. Maybe... I don't know. Maybe. Just maybe.

Who am I? Some nights I lie awake and wonder who I am. Ok. So I'm Carly. I don't remember who I was before, but I know I wasn't Carly. At the SPCA I was Carla and I don't remember what my name was at the other place. Who am I?? Am I a Husky or a Lab or both? Do I have Greyhound in me like Brianna thinks? Who were my parents? Why did I have bad owners before? Why do my people love me now? Do they really love me? Why am I afraid all the time? Why are there scary, mean people out there? Does anyone really love me?

Does Deuce like me? I don't think Captain does, he's been ignoring me lately. I think he likes Keera. :( But Deuce and I have been playing a lot lately. I really like him, but does he like me? If he doesn't like me, am I still worth anything? If he doesn't like me, will life go on?

Who am I? Why am I like this? Where did I come from?