#insecure

(Well, I did say I was going to start using hashtags...)

I'm feeling very insecure and heartbroken. Rory called me "dumber than a brick" last night. He never wants to play with me. I think he hates me. He always tells me to go away and never pets me. He makes jokes about Indian food and using a Pomeranian for footballs. (Never mind I think that'd be a great use for a Pomeranian... But it's the principle of the thing!) I think he hates me.

Maybe I am dumb. Maybe I really am. Maybe I'm stupid. Maybe nobody loves me. Maybe I'm just not worth it. Maybe it's all an act to make me think they love me. Maybe they really will take me back to the pound. Maybe I'm ugly. Maybe my nose is too long and my ears are too big. Maybe my fur is too rough and my feet are all wrong. Maybe I'm just a stupid, worthless dog. Maybe... I don't know. Maybe. Just maybe.

Who am I? Some nights I lie awake and wonder who I am. Ok. So I'm Carly. I don't remember who I was before, but I know I wasn't Carly. At the SPCA I was Carla and I don't remember what my name was at the other place. Who am I?? Am I a Husky or a Lab or both? Do I have Greyhound in me like Brianna thinks? Who were my parents? Why did I have bad owners before? Why do my people love me now? Do they really love me? Why am I afraid all the time? Why are there scary, mean people out there? Does anyone really love me?

Does Deuce like me? I don't think Captain does, he's been ignoring me lately. I think he likes Keera. :( But Deuce and I have been playing a lot lately. I really like him, but does he like me? If he doesn't like me, am I still worth anything? If he doesn't like me, will life go on?

Who am I? Why am I like this? Where did I come from?

Hashtags

What is the point of a hashtag? Why is a little box made of lines called a hashtag? Hash is delicious meat -- not that I've ever had it, but I've smelled it. Trust me, its delicious. And tags are the clinky things on my collar. So when you put them together, you should get my I.D. covered in delicious meat. But you get a funny symbol that is, according to Brianna, supposed to go with numbers. It goes in front of words and phrases that are all lowercase and smushed together?? Why??? What does it mean?!

Ok, so I just Googled it. I guess it's supposed to show how you feel and everything, fast. But its just weird...

People, hello! Get a life and start listening to dogs! If you listened to us brilliant canines, you wouldn't make up bizarre things that make no sense, like hashtags! You would make up more hash!!! And give us more tennis balls and peanut butter!!! And BACON CHEESE STRIPS. I haven't had a bacon cheese strip in over a week!!! I'm freaking out!!!! I want one so bad, they're sitting up on top of the fridge and I think they totally forgot about them!!!

So hashtags are dumb and I won't use them. Ever. Only dumb humans use hashtags. On the other hand, hash IS delicious. Maybe I'll start using hashtags. Just because I like the idea of hash. And my tags. Mmmmmmm yum.

I think I know what it's like to love.

Today was doggie daycare! And after sitting here thinking for a long time, I figured something out. So here's what I figured out. 

I love being in the center of the pack. I love being the alpha dog. I love leading. I love it. I love running with other dogs. I love being a dog. I love being a popular dog. I love getting walks. I love it. Did I mention that I love loving things??

I love being loved. I love it when Brianna scratches my ears and gives me tummy rubs. I love it when Mom and Dad scratch my ears and give me tummy rubs. I love my tennis balls and I love it when people throw them. I love playing tug-of-war. I love it when I get bacon cheese strips. And peanutbutter. And cheese. And even just milkbones. And I love chewing rawhide and I love chewing my bones and I just love chewing.

I love chasing bugs. I love chasing rabbits. I love chasing cars. I love chasing tennis balls. I love chasing Brianna. I love chasing frogs and toads. I love chasing my tail. 

I love doggie day care. I love the park. I love playing in the park and playing at doggie day care. I love playing with dog friends. I love people friends. I love playing with people friends, like Eeeelaina and Sarah and Emerleh and Rachel. (I love redheads, too, actually. I just think they're weird.) I love coming home from a long day of playing with friends and always having Brianna and Mom and Dad to pet me and love me.

I love it when I get people food in my kibble. I love it when my people play with me. I love it when they tell me they love me and that I'm a silly dog. I love it when they take out my tennis balls and ropes and play with me. I love it when they give me a rawhide or a bone or even an ice cube. I love having people who love me. I love having a home. I love being loved. 

I love knowing that if I ever run away into the woods again, they'll still be there, calling my name. I love knowing that even if they give me baths they still love me. I love being their dog. I love them being my people. I love it when they take me for walks. I love it when Mom and Brianna come into doggie daycare to pick me up and I'm just soooo happy to see them!!! I love how my people never forget me.

I love how I don't need Captain or Deuce to make me happy. I love how I can be single. I love how I can be independent and I don't need to live for anyone else. I love being single. Relationships are often disastrous.

I love wogging. I love emailing with Sammy. I love checking my wog and seeing if anyone has read it. I love writing new posts, even though typing with paws is really hard.

I love being happy. I love being a dog.

I'M BAAAACK!!!!!

It's Carly again! No, I didn't leave! I missed posting, yesterday, though. But I'm really excited to have Sammy help me write my blog sometimes!!! I love having doggie friends!!! And Sammy is so sweet. :)

Yesterday I went to the vet. If dogs could facepalm, I would be doing it right now. She stuck needles into me!!! It was awful!!! The treats they give there are ok, I guess. Not the best, but pretty good. They're nice to me, they pet me and let me lick them and nibble them. I STILL don't like the vet.

I went to the dog park today!!! I made friends with two white German Shepards and a spotted dog named Dora and a bunch of other dogs. And I tried to chase a butterfly! I love chasing those! This one was big and orange and black and flying just above my head. I wanted it. I mean, I wanted it. I  mean, I REALLY WANTED it!!!! The ones at home that fly around the door are all like gray and white. THIS one was ORANGE and it was BIG!!!! I chased it around and around and all the other people there were laughing at me and saying how cute I was. I didn't catch it. But it was amazing!!! :P (That's me, panting after Brianna hooked me onto my leash and forced me back to the car.) ^_^

And then when we got home, Dad played tug of war with me with a new rope!!! They got me a new rope!!! (He threw away the pink one that I shredded last week.) I have a new rope!!! I love it!!! It's so... ropey!!!

That's all for now! I'm really exhausted. Goodnight! :)

P.S. Sammy, I'd be very glad to sign your petition to have all cats covered in bacon and cheese... But only the annoying ones. There are nice cats in this world... Somewhere... I guess... I mean, I've never met any, but... So, yes, I would like to help you with that. :)

HIHIHIHIHEEEYY!!!!!!!

HI! HI HI HI HI HI HEY HI THERE HELLO! HI!!!
I'M SO HAPPY TO MEET YOU! Can I lick your face? Too soon? OK...
My name is Sammy, AND I'M SO HAPPY TO MEET YOU! I WISH I COULD JUST MEET PEOPLE ALL THE TIME! IT'S JUST SUCH A GREAT FEELING!

Oh my gosh... was that a squirrel?  HEY YOU SQUIRREL!

Oh, who are you? HI! HELLO HEYA- oh wait, we already did this!
Layna says I'm ADD, but I don't know what that is... it seems a tad extreme.

I love Layna, I love her the most right now. see, she gives me dry dog food ALL the time, and the other dog who lives in our house ALWAYS gets the yummy wet stuff... it smells so good... Layna never lets me taste Pippin's (the other dog) yummy food. All I want is a taste!
but today she gave a WHOLE CAN! After she said something to her mother about "running outa Sammy's food," but it was ALL MINE! She's the best person EVER!
But she is continuously trying to steal my new toy! And she laughs when I try to pull it out of her hands, (I usually win though,) I've had to start sleeping with it in my mouth. I'm worried if I don't, she'll take it away for good! I love it so much, it smells like dirty laundry, and Layna.

I love Layna, she's the best person EVER!

I hope she doesn't mind I'm using her account to write this blog, she wont. I really DIDN'T mean to change the name to Sammy, buuuuttt........ I don't think she'll mind, she says I'm her most favorite dog in the world! I got the idea to blog when I started reading this other dog's blog, her name is Carly. She's so smart and thoughtful... So I emailed her, and told her how inspiring she is, she said she was flattered! so I told her of my dreams of being a "wogger" myself, but i didn't quite know where to begin. So she invited me to write a post on her blog some times! SHE'S JUST SO COOL!
I wonder if she chases cats, and if she will sign my petition to have all cats covered in bacon and melted cheddar cheese slices that fell in the dirt. Mmmmmmmmm...... i get this tingly feeling just thinking about it....
It's funny how she talks about Brianna's red head friends, Layna's a red head...

I met a new friend!!!

I got this great email from this dog named Sammy who loves my blog and so I said he could help me write it sometimes!!! I'm excited, I made a new friend!!!!

He's owned by a redhead... I wonder what that says about his personality. Personally, I decide if people are weird or not by what color their hair is. It works very well, very accurate. Like the friend Brianna has over right now, Eeeelaina. She calls me Carls!!! Why?! Anyways, she's fun. She lets me lick her face. I like people that let me lick their face. Brianna won't let me lick her face. I don't know why, I love her. :(

Like just a few minutes ago, I got in trouble for chewing and jumping on them. I don't get it, I do it cause I love them!!! (And they taste better than my Nylabone.) But they don't like it!!! It's bewildering.

Oh, oh, oh, I just remembered! I look dashing in a bandanna. I mean, I hate wearing them, but I look dashing in it. Simply smashingly dashing. You will agree. Look at this picture and you will simply just be unable to argue with me about how gorgeous I am in a bandanna. I'm not sure if red is my color, though. I'm sorry about the blurry tail, I'm very enthusiastic about being adored.

WHEEEE!!!!!

Today totally made up for yesterday!!! We all went to the dog park!!!! I ran around and played with the other dogs for like, an hour. It was SOOOOOOOOO much fun!!!!!!! It was just like doggie daycare!!!! And we ran and ran and ran all over it was sooo fuunnnn!!!! There were even tennis balls!!!!

Then Dad decided I was dirty....... *growl* So they gave me a bath!!! It was awful, I was just starting to get right again!!!! I was pleasantly rumpled. Not too muddy, just enough. It was the perfect amount. And then they went and ruined it!!! But then Brianna got out this new toy that's like a  green rubber bone with a rope and it's perfect to play tug of war with and we played and played and it was really fun!!! I'll post a picture later. So I guess the day was worth it.

This is me with my doggie buddies!

Bored. Bored. Bored.

Today was so boring!!! All I did was sleep. I mean, I was worried, but bored. Brianna sprained her wrist last night while sliding around and Rory's shoulder was hurt. I sat in the back of the car with the windows open waiting for them to come out... And I slept.

Why are people so slow?! Why do I always have to wait for them to do anything?!

I'm very confused.

Well, today Mom and her friend Lisa took me for a walk outside this big place... I don't know what it was! It was really really weird! Mom and Lisa and some other people (there was another dog, too!) sat on these weird benches outside this big open space that would have been perfect to chase things in, only it was all glassed in. And we watched Brianna and one of her brunette friends, Lisa's daughter Sarah, (she's really nice and kinda weird, but much less so then Brianna, because Brianna has red highlights) go around in circles with all these other people I didn't know. Only... They weren't walking!!! It was so weird, they were wearing these weird shoes with round things on the bottoms and sliding all over the place. They weren't moving, only pushing their feet out and sliding, the shoes moved them all by itself!!! It was scary!!! I barked and barked so they took me out and walked me. We found a dog park!!! Mom didn't know about it, she was surprised. I didn't get to go in, but there were a lot of little dogs in there and they barked at me and I wanted to play!!! =(

And then... Well, Mom gave me some water and then some dinner and left it in my crate in a cheap red plastic bowl. I ate the food. And I was still hungry. So I decided to eat the bowl. It was quite delicious. And it was beautifully hole-filled when I was done with it. Like, almost the whole bottom was disconnected from the top, which was beautifully punctured. It was gorgeous. I was so proud of myself. But then Brianna and Mom got me out and found the bowl and yelled at me. And then they took it away and threw it out and didn't even take a picture so I could post it on my wog!!! I was so sad, I loved my bowl. It was just beautiful modern art. =/

Today was really fun!!!!!

He loves me, he loves me not...?

Today was SOOO fun!!! I went to doggie daycare!!! I played with Captain and another dog named Deuce... And now I'm beginning to wonder about how I feel... I mean, Captain's cute, but Deuce is really... IDK, fun, I guess. He and I like playing a lot together. Captain's way cuter, he's dark and fluffy, but Deuce has a more beterer personality, I guess. He's sort of light and speckled with spots. I'm just torn. I can't decide who I like better! I mean, they're both crazy about me. I'm totally worrying about this. Which should I pick?!

Then again, maybe it's not worth it. Maybe I don't need another dog to make me happy. Maybe being single is best. Besides, I'm not sure Mom would approve if I got a boyfriend. It's so confusing!!! I want to be loved. Not a family kind of love. I want a dog to love me. I've never had that before. Sure, they've liked me and played with me before, but never loved me. And my people say I'm a wonderful dog and I know they love me, but does that count? They're humans, do their opinions count? Or am I only really loved and worth it if a dog loves me? Because another dog has never loved me.