Why?

Why do people think I'm stupid? Why do they talk to me like I'm dumb? Never mind, I love it when they talk to me like that, but why do they do it?!

Like when I'm just lying on the floor and Brianna looks over and goes "WOOF WOOF WOOF!" She sounds so stupid when she does it. When I bark, I do not sound stupid. She just does not have that charm of a canine. She's a person. She simply has no class. Dad sounds even dumber when he does it.

And then there's the nickname thing again. I know they do it because they love me, but seriously?! My name is not Carlykins or Carlybob. Or El Doggo. Or Snurf-dog. Or any of the other dumb things they call me. My name is Carly! They've even started calling me Wigglebutt! That's just outrageous!!! I cannot BELIEVE these people!!! Bonquiqui was bad enough, but Wigglebutt?! Can I trade them in on some bacon cheese strips??

Speaking of bacon cheese strips, I love them. Like, I LOVE them. Forget Klondike bars, I'd do anything for a bacon cheese strip! Even roll over on my back and wave my legs around in the air until they tell me to roll all the way over and then I do it or else they won't give me the bacon cheese strip. It's really annoying. I find it very degrading to be told to roll over in circles, even for a bacon cheese strip. Like, I love bacon cheese strips so much I WOULD roll over for them, but seriously, WHY do I need to roll over for them?? Why can't they just give me a bacon cheese strip because they love me?? I'm so confused. Do they really love me if I have to work just to get a quarter of a bacon cheese strip? Is it really worth it? Or should I sacrifice the bacon cheese strips and stand up for my rights? It's so complicated. I just don't know. Anybody got any suggestions?